I love a sunny day

... and I'm going away again...

2009-06-16T22:02:00.002+10:00

It's time for a new adventure, so I'm moving this blog to a brand new site called Cecily. Mostly.

You'll find this blog, plus others dedicated to books, family, craft and of course autism on the new site, plus a whole lot of stories and articles I've been wanting to publish for a while.

Please come over and let me know what you think. And thanks for reading here for so long.

No more posts - that's all folks.

I'm baaa-aack

2009-06-11T21:27:00.003+10:00

It's been a month since I posted last, and finally I am back.

In the last month, we have moved the contents of a four bedroom house (two truck loads), unpacked it in two days, slept, slept some more, lost our dog and found him again, went on holidays for two weeks, got creative about entertaining children in two weeks of rainy days, figured out grocery shopping, started new jobs, schools and preschools, and met a gazillion new people.

Amazingly, I'm sitting here incredibly relaxed and happy. This place - the village and the countryside around it - is just beautiful. Our house is fantastic. I can't quite believe how attractive and liveable it is. The children are content and it is all looking really good.

I have big plans to change this blog around over the next couple of weeks. I'm trying to work out how to combine all my blogs and writing stuff onto one site. If anyone's got any ideas on how to do that, I'd be happy to hear them!

Thanks for your patience (if you're still here) and I'm looking forward to blogging again.

Insurance guys know what's going on

2009-05-11T21:07:00.002+10:00

Help! Rescue me from boxes and mess and washing and cleaning and dreams where all I do is pack or run away from people who are trying to kill me... I wake up more exhausted than when I go to sleep.

Husband got on the phone tonight to change our details for our home and contents insurance. The very pleasant and affirming HUMAN customer service representative* on the other end of the line said, "Oh yes, I don't envy you. Moving is one of the most stressful experiences a family can have." I nearly cheered.

*If you'd like to know which company, I'll untell you.

Absent

2009-04-22T20:42:00.002+10:00

Some things have taken a back seat in the last few weeks.

1. Cooking interesting meals.
2. Washing.
3. Blog.

My energies have been directed elsewhere, specifically: sorting out cupboards; organising an enormous garage sale (eight neighbourhood families and their stuff); sorting out furniture needs for the new place; saying initial goodbyes to friends here.

You may be interested to know that if you are trying to buy a lounge on ebay, it would serve you well to live in Melbourne. They seriously have the best furniture!

I doubt I'll emerge fully from this hibernation before June. We move on 18 May and then take some holidays. After that, there will be big changes for us. Two children will be at school (yes, I finally admit defeat) and one at preschool three days down in the new place, so I will have free days.

Hopefully, see you after that!

Patersons on the move

2009-04-03T17:55:00.002+11:00

Finally I am free to blog again without self-censorship. Tomorrow we will officially announce our move to beautiful Kangaroo Valley, which is south-east of here, about a 30 minute drive. My husband will be the assistant minister of Berry/Kangaroo Valley parish, but effectively the minister of KV church.

Apparently Kangaroo Valley is 24 in the list of the 100 best spots to live in New South Wales. Lucky us, hey? It's lush and green and pretty. It's also only accessible via three really winding roads.

We move in about five weeks. Now the real hard work begins! How I LOVE packing...

Garage sale

2009-03-30T21:20:00.004+11:00

There is waaaay too much stuff in this house. Most of the cupboards are full of things we haven't looked at/played with/gotten out for the two years we've been here. So we have decided to have a garage sale.

This will be my first ever garage sale. So far I have filled seven boxes with toys, books, linen and bits and pieces. I'm sure there will be more. It's a great feeling to pull things out of cupboards and think "I will be free of this soon!"

I am trying not to be sentimental. If I have to ask the question 'Should I keep this?' I think the answer should be no. The only trouble will be hiding the stuff from the little boys who will suddenly remember things they last showed interest in two years ago if they see it again.

In addition, we are selling furniture. We have a cream leather lounge suite which is beautiful and in good condition, but we have realised we don't sit in it because we feel too formal in it. Somehow a fabric cover feels cosier. So we are hitting ebay for a new/second hand fabric one, and are open to offers for our cream leather. The very bad picture at the top of this post shows one of the armchairs - there are two, with a 3-seater lounge. It was probably worth about $2500 when it was new 3 years ago. (And if you have little children, don't dismiss it because it is cream. It cleans up really easily!) As they say on ebay - pick up only, no postage. Hey, I'll even consider selling you our new rug that we bought to go with it...

We are also selling a dark wood TV cabinet with doors that close the TV up when you're not watching, and a computer cupboard with doors - shelf, 2 drawers, pull out keyboard , room for printers, CPU, everything. Also a basic pine king single bed frame and mattress (although we won't charge for the mattress... it's seen its day.

Just let me know if you're interested.

I think I have ADD

2009-03-25T19:09:00.000+11:00

Below, allow me to list all my unfinished projects sitting around my house.

1. Hexagon patchwork. Begun ambitiously, soon discarded
2. Double bed quilt - sewn, basted, and left to one side temporarily....
3. Braided rug for my daughter.
4. children's book started and not finished
5. editing project for a friend begun and not continued (hope he's patient)
6. another children's series begun and now 'pending'
7. Friendship book still in process. At least I'm making progress on this one
8. Two other books begun, not continued...

Seriously. I think I might have some sort of attention disorder. Or I just get bored quickly.

Had to share this one

2009-03-14T21:24:00.005+11:00

My baby loves to talk on the phone - to anyone who will listen. If you ring me and he's home, I can guarantee he'll want to talk to you.

Yep, it's half a hairdo

2009-03-14T21:18:00.002+11:00

This is my extremely attractive husband with half a head of hair.

He did Shave for a Cure this week, but over two nights for two different youth groups.

I believe they raised about $500 or so, so this sight was worth something to someone, obviously!

Now he's minus the rest of the fluff and looks like a cross between a soccer ball and a thug.

I wonder if there are foods which help hair to grow back quicker!

Book recommendation

2009-03-08T07:09:00.002+11:00

It's been a while between posts for the reason that most things I've been thinking about are either too personal, too confidential or too controversial to write about. So offered up here is a book recommendation for those of you who like a page-turning thriller.

It's The Killer's Wife by Bill Floyd, and I read it in a day because of the simple reason that I couldn't put it down. The story follows a woman who discovered her husband was a serial killer. She called the police and had him put away, and is now, 7 years later, living quietly under a different name, trying to give her son a normal life. Unfortunately, one victim's father is still angry, and exposes her at the same time as a copycat killer is on the loose and her son is abducted.

It's a good psychological story and Floyd writes the two main characters very well for this genre of book. Being about a serial killer, the book does have some gore, but it's not an ugly read. Apparently it is a debut novel, so I'll be looking out for more Floyd in the future.

Like mother, like son

2009-02-26T07:38:00.001+11:00

Yesterday my little son Bright Eyes looked around himself with satisfaction and said, "I love sunny days!"

Being angry

2009-02-25T21:51:00.003+11:00

We were discussing anger tonight in Bible study, following the reading of Matthew 5:21-26. Here are some thoughts that came up, in no particular order:

Anger is frequently described in the Bible with the imagery of fire and burning. With the devastation of the Victorian bushfires recently, it's worth thinking about the collateral damage that unrestrained anger can cause, and also that fire can be fueled, or damped down.

The words 'slow' and 'anger' also go together in the Bible - most frequently talking about God and the speed at which he gets angry (ie. slowly).

We wondered if much of the anger that we express towards our children comes from us being inconvenienced. And is inconvenience a good enough reason for anger? God gets angry at injustice and rebellion.

We asked God to help us understand the source of our various angers this week. Facing our anger and its reasons will probably help us understand what is real anger, and what is hurt, bitterness or disappointment masquerading as anger.

Make that three

2009-02-25T21:50:00.001+11:00

Another rejection.

One more option left.

We're just not that into you.

2009-02-17T18:19:00.003+11:00

I've had two rejections from publishers for my 'friendship' book in one week. Which is kind of deflating. I have two more irons in the fire at the moment, and then I'm going to have to look at self-publishing and promotion.

Woe.

Mascara

2009-02-17T18:17:00.002+11:00

As I sat in a waiting room today, reading through a fashion/gossip magazine, I came across this letter to the editor.

Thanks sooo much for your article on mascara. I've been looking for the perfect mascara my whole life, and now I have 50 top picks to try before I die. Thank you!!

Is this woman for real?

Dog partay!

2009-02-12T18:44:00.004+11:00

I had the most fun I've had for years yesterday at the party for our dog's eighth birthday. Yes, I know, it sounds completely ridiculous, but it was hilarious and joyous and fantastic.

It was all Jemima's idea, and seeing as my new principle is to 'say yes as often as possible', we decided to go ahead with it. She wrote invitations to four of the neighbourhood dogs and their families, set up the backyard, made phone calls and iced the (bone-shaped) cake.

The dogs arrived, and the children spent 10 minutes or so taking them over a jump/obstacle course. There were no fights, but we did have to keep the biggest, boisterous one away from the others, and some of them showed a little bit too much affection for each other... (both desexed males... what is going on?)

We then played 'duck duck dog' before cutting cake (for humans) and opening presents. The dogs got treats too - probably too many for the little one who was on a diet.

The children loved it, but I think we adults had more fun. We all just stood there and laughed for a full half-hour. Perhaps joy comes from such child-like things as throwing a dog party?

Natural learning and unschooling

2009-02-10T20:04:00.003+11:00

I wanted to write something myself about the unschooling philosophy that I'm following with our children, but it seemed like a big effort. Lots of other people have written about it, so rather than reinvent the wheel, I was going to excerpt bits of other people's articles with links below. However, for some annoying reason, I can't paste into blogger at the moment, so I'll just leave links and titles!

What is unschooling? Is it 'non-schooling? Aren't you just abandoning, or worse, abusing your children? Read here

How do unschooling parents know their children are learning without tests, quizzes, exams or grades? Read here.

Common objections to unschooling, including the big 'S' - the socialisation question. Read here

Is schooling really learning, or is there a difference? Read here

I laughed at this

2009-02-10T20:00:00.002+11:00

Jemima's art teacher told the class an apparently true story about her sister in law's friend (or someone) who owned a python as a pet. She allowed it out of its cage to roam freely around the house for short or long periods.

She began to notice after a while that it had not been eating much, and she was a little worried about it. Then one day, with it out of its cage, she took a nap and woke up to find the python stretched out to its full length next to her in the bed.

Quite concerned, she took it to the vet only to be told that the python had not eaten because it was saving itself up for a big meal. And the reason it was lying next to her was because it was measuring her to see if she was the right size to be the next big meal.

The python is no longer a pet!

25 words that describe me

2009-02-09T20:18:00.003+11:00

Jubilee Man has asked me to do 25 words (of any type) describing myself. So here goes.

1. Lumpy
2. Freckly
3. RSI
4. Reader
5. Writer
6. Obsessive
7. Strong-minded
8. Paralysed
9. Insecure
10. Phobic
11. Motivated
12. Panicky
13. Competent
14. Impatient
15. Funny
16. Honest
17. Earplugs
18. Family
19. Fashion
20. Messy
21. Impulsive
22. Inactive
23. Ambitious
24. Dreams
25. Moderate

If you've read this, take the challenge.

Resisting the temptation to be moral

2009-02-09T19:50:00.003+11:00

My husband gets this great journal entitled Journal of spiritual formation and soul care. I thought this article by John Coe in Volume 1, Issue 1 was worth quoting in some length. It may be helpful in my journey towards joy.

"I want to address a peculiar temptation, one especially relevant and think universal to those who are dedicated to the Christian life and to ministry. It is what I call the moral temptation.

The moral temptation is the attempt to deal with our spiritual failure, guilt and shame by means of spiritual efforts, by attempting to perfect one's self in the power of the self.

It is the attempt of the well-intentioned believer to use spiritual formation, spiritual disciplines, ministry, service, obedience - being good in general- as a way to relieve the burden of spiritual failure, lack of love and the guilt and shame that results.

It is the temptation to try to relieve a burden that Christ alone can relieve....

My thesis or concern... for those believers who want to give themselves to a life of growth and ministry but are struggling with their faith, is two-fold:

1. That no amount of spiritual effort on their part can ever relieve them of their burden of shame and guilt in the Christian life except Christ. No amount of effort or doing of spiritual disciplines can grow them or fix them.

2. That in fact, the Christian life is not fundamentally about being moral in itself or about being a good Christian boy or girl. It is not fundamentally about obedience to a set of principles or doing spiritual disciplines... It is not even about character formation or imitation of Christ as a model.

... As we grow older in faith, we discover that the Christian life is more about Christ and less about our efforts. It is about what he has done, and about our life "in Christ" and how to open the heart to this New Covenant life dependent on the Spirit.

Questions or answers?

2009-02-07T19:26:00.003+11:00

Usually I run my Bible study pretty conventionally. We sit around and read the passage. I ask pertinent questions and we have a discussion around each one.

This week, however, I decided to do something a little different. Instead of looking for answers, I was looking for questions. There was no discussion or answers allowed - only questions. I was the scribe while everyone in the group thought about the questions they could ask about the passage and its application.

The end result was more than 7ft of questions on a roll of continuous paper. It was more than I expected. The group felt perhaps a little more exhausted than usual, but they did feel that they had gotten a lot out of the exercise and had really examined the passage.

Beat the heat

2009-02-06T23:19:00.002+11:00

I grew up in Karachi, Pakistan, where the temperature is over 35C for most of the year. Days were hot, and on the many nights when the electricity failed, getting to sleep was hard. I developed the ability to sleep straight on the cool tiled floors of our house. No mattress or sheets - just a pillow.

Last night was so hot here and my legs felt so 'burning' that I was tossing and turning for ages until I suddenly realised that there was indeed a cooler place. I headed to the bathroom with my pillow and slept on the tiled floor. And that's where I'm going right now!

Jamesie boy

2009-02-03T18:10:00.003+11:00

Our littlest is growing up. Here he is at 'Dad's Salon' which was set up one day to help encourage our 9 yo to experience hair washing as a positive thing. Jamesie wanted a turn too.

Patience down... what's next?

2009-02-03T18:07:00.002+11:00

Long-time readers of this blog may remember my many ponderings about patience of a few years back. I wanted to know what it was, how you got it and what it looked like.

One autistic child later, I think I'm ok with patience now. So I'm moving on. Currently I'm bothered about joy. I'm not sure I have much. I'd like to be one of those gorgeous people who exude joy (and not just put-on positive thinking) even when they are sad.

Any thoughts? I think I'll start exploring this topic.

A slow death averted

2009-02-01T19:52:00.003+11:00

This blog is sadly languishing.

One reason is my mild but chronic RSI.

The other reason is probably that I want to write serious things about education and unschooling, but I would have to spend a lot of time formulating exactly what I want to say and why, so I'm putting it off.

In the meantime, all my posts feel fairly inane and uninspiring.

Sorry Kristen, I can't do your book meme. The thought of getting out 10 books and then having to put them all away again gives me the horrors when all I seem to do all day is clean up and put other people's mess away.

As a peace-offering, let me tell you what I am currently reading.

Generation to Generation by Edwin Friedman.
All about family systems theory. It's a way of counselling where a counsellor does not look so much at the presenting 'patient' or even addresses the 'issues' at the forefront, but looks at how the person is situated in the whole of the family system. For example, a child who is acting out can become settled by the counsellor having the parents work on their own relationship. Or a mother who has depression may be helped by her own mother improving her relationship with her sister. The idea is that all our relationships are interconnected generationally. "Man is not an island" was never explained so well.

Teach your own - The John Holt book of Homeschooling by John Holt and Patrick Farenga.
John Holt is the 'father' of the unschooling movement in America. He died in 1985, but his books still sell many copies. From the back of the book I quote: "Rather than proposing that parents turn their homes into miniature schools, Holt and Farenga demonstrate how ordinary parents can help children grow as social, active learners... John Holt's warm understanding of children and his passionate belief in every child's ability to learn have made this book the bible of homeschooling families everywhere."

A Poisoned Season by someone or other
A mildly amusing novel featuring a dreadfully modern heroine smack bang in the middle of London's upper crust in the olden days. She's a scholar, a rich widow and of course, stunning to look at. Her main occupation seems to be reading Homer, fending off witty suitors, dodging scandal and solving murders. I wouldn't bother with it except that it has become annoyingly compelling.

The last chapter of John.
I never realised that when Jesus appeared to the disciples when they were fishing there were only six of them present. It's very cool that he made them breakfast. I think that shows a great deal of thoughtfulness and an ability to meet the right needs, whatever they are. I wonder why the disciples counted the fish that they caught? I would have thought they'd be so busy talking to Jesus that the mundane details of fishing would have gone by the wayside. Would they have sold them on? What did they do with the 153 big fish that they caught?
I like how Jesus basically tells Peter to mind his own beeswax at the end, when they are talking about how John is going to meet his death. We all need to do this a great deal more than we do. Why can't we just concentrate on our own walk with the Lord instead of having to fix or judge or be annoyed by everyone else's? Just be faithful and don't worry about them.

Idiot box no more

2009-01-27T19:41:00.003+11:00

We have no TV now. We got rid of it more than a week ago for the sake of our middle child who was seriously addicted to it, and unable to keep himself from living in Wiggle-Thomas-ABCKids-land.

I am surprised at how well I personally am doing without it. The house feels a lot calmer in general, at night and during the day.

Potential problems may be that I do not keep up with current affairs enough. I also may suffer from Survivor withdrawals, however I'm certain that will not kill me.

I like it.

This is how I feel about temperatures over 30C

2009-01-24T19:40:00.002+11:00

Morbid wonderings

2009-01-24T18:40:00.002+11:00

I was watching Stranger than Fiction the other day in which the main character has a conversation with his friend about what he would do if he knew he only a little more time to live. The character (a boring, staid tax official) said he had always wanted to play the guitar, so he went and bought one and started to play.

It got me thinking about what I would do, so here's my list. The scenario is that I have one year to live. I am not sick or fighting a disease and I don't have unlimited funds.

I would
- first of all, triple my life insurance so my husband and the kids can pay off the unit once I die.
- write my memoirs.
- spend more time talking to my husband.
- spend more time playing with the children.
- make sure every relationship I have is in a good and loving state.
- make a quilt for each of the children.
- get outside and look at the night sky more.
- dance a lot.
- read the Bible a lot and prepare to meet my maker.

(I thought about travel, but there are better places coming in heaven. The same goes for hobbies or experiences, although on further reflection, perhaps I might do some horseback riding. It became clear that the things I find important are relationships with people and God.)

Then it struck me that perhaps these are the things I need to do this year and every year. After all, who knows?

Anyone want to play? What would you do with a year to live?

Dusting

2009-01-19T20:00:00.003+11:00

Actually I don't think I've dusted my computer in two years or more. (How long have we lived here?)

A bunch of unrelated stuff

2009-01-17T19:09:00.003+11:00

>>The gap in posting is due to spending a week in Sydney for Bright Eyes yearly assessment. (See my other blog for the big changes in our lives we have made in response to this.)

>>My current daydream is to buy some land down in the bushy part of the Southern Highlands and build a straw bale cabin for a weekender. Anyone want to help me build? You can stay in it for free if you do...

>>I realised while we were away that I can never be a perfect parent. I will fail my children because I am human. It makes me more forgiving of anyone who fails me. And it is good that grace is there from God to forgive me.

>>I really don't like the city. I'm very pleased to be living in a regional area. It was so nice to come home to trees and space and quiet.

A few good reads

2009-01-07T19:49:00.002+11:00

The most realistic 'novel' I have read in a while is Helen Garner's The Spare Room. It is written in the first person, from Garner's point of view, and reads like a memoir but apparently is fiction. It tells the story of a terminally ill friend who comes to visit Helen while she follows some kooky cancer treatment. Helen thinks the regime is ridiculous and the 'doctors' are ripping off her friend and tries to stand up for her while all the time her friend is trying to live in denial of her forthcoming death. If you know anyone with cancer, it might be an emotional read.

A new book just out from Blue Bottle Books is Take Heart by Kate Hurley and is a book of stories and thinking about living with children with disabilities. Yours truly contributed a page to it. It is worth a read, and may be something good to have on a church bookshelf or hanging around to give to families with a child who struggles.

Choosing to Cheat by Andy Stanley is a short, easy read taking on the big issue of work and family balance. Subtitled Who Wins when Family and Work Collide, it clearly states the problems, the causes and the solutions. His big message is to do your your job and love your family, not the other way around. I loved it.

2008 and 2009

2008-12-31T22:35:00.002+11:00

Glad I did...
- change my life around to enjoy having the children at home and to pursue a gentler, more present way of being with them.
- investigate healing and prayer and miracles.
- Learn how to knit well, even though it brought me three months of RSI and shoulder pain.

Glad I didn't...
- give up on God when my prayers appeared to be unanswered and unheard.
- give up on finishing my manuscript despite the RSI. Voice-activated technology is amazing, if at times amusing.

Wish I had...
- started leading my bible study earlier in the year. It was such a great boost to me in the last two terms.
- loved my husband, children, mother, father, brothers and friends with more warmth, patience and understanding.
- sent more emails to my brother and his family overseas.

Wish I hadn't...
- eaten so much chocolate fudge, chocolate cake, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate... are you feeling a theme here?
- not known what to say to people so often. (Sorry - double negatives are a no-no... geddit?)

Hope I will...
- stick to my inspiration to stay away from the chocolate and fit into my clothes again.
- get some books published.
- take my own advice more frequently.
- really focus on RDI therapy for Bright Eyes

Hope I won't...
- suffer because of my own actions.
- cause harm to others
- put my foot in my mouth too often
- lose my keys or wallet.

Quotes to ponder

2008-12-31T20:08:00.004+11:00

I mentioned Naomi Aldort's book Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves a few posts back. Here are a few quotes from the first chapter that have made me think about the way I love my children.

Blogger has a new feature called reactions. You can see a choice of a few reactions at the bottom of this post. You might like to tick your preferred reaction... or feel free to leave a comment.

"Control is ineffective because humans resist it by their very nature. Whether it is gentle coercion or covert manipulation, the very control we use causes the problems we are trying to solve. Most parents already know how to control children gently. What we don't know is how NOT to control them and live in peace and joy with them."

"Such love is unconditional - loving your child, not your idea of how he should be. Love is only love when there are no conditions. The moment love is used as a reward for behaviour or achievement, it ceases to be love and instead becomes a lesson in give and take. ...Loving unconditionally is its own reward."

"Parenting is much simpler when we realise that children come here already designed to bloom in their own unique ways. In this book you will find great relief from the impossible duty of shaping humans. God doesn't goof: it is not your job to turn an infant into an adult human over twenty years. It is your responsibility and privilege to care and nurture a human being while she grows."

On parenting and education

2008-12-28T18:19:00.002+11:00

Here are some lovely (and perhaps controversial?) pieces of advice from an 'unschooling' email list I belong to.

Give your love generously and criticism sparingly. Be your children's partner. Support them and respect them. Never belittle them or their interests, no matter how superficial, unimportant, or even misguided their interests may seem to you. Be a guide, not a dictator. Shine a light ahead for them, and lend them a hand, but don't drag or push them. You WILL sometimes despair when your vision of what your child ought to be bangs up against the reality that they are their own person. But that same reality can also give you great joy if you learn not to cling to your own preconceived notions and expectations.

Don't worry about how fast or slow they are learning. Don't test them to see if they are "up to speed." If you nurture them in a supportive environment, your children will grow and learn at their own speed, and you can trust in that process. They are like seeds planted in good earth, watered and fertilized. You don't keep digging up the seeds to see if the roots are growing—that disrupts the natural growing process. Trust your children in the same way you trust seeds to sprout and seedlings to develop into strong and healthy plants.

Think about what is REALLY important and keep that always in the forefront of your interactions with your children. What values do you hope to pass on to them? You can't "pass on" something you don't exemplify yourself. Treat them the way you want them to treat others. Do you want respect? Be respectful. Do you want responsibility from them? Be responsible. Think of how you look to them, from their perspective. Do you order them around? Is that respectful? Do you say, "I'll be just a minute" and then take 20 more minutes talking to a friend while the children wait? Focus more on your own behavior than on theirs. It'll pay off bigger.

Growing Souls - Mark Yaconelli

2008-12-28T17:22:00.002+11:00

This was my husband's most recent purchase with a book voucher he received for Christmas.

I read it, hungrily, in one day because it talks about the sort of faith-practice-experience I feel like I've been missing for a while.

Here's a little bit to whet your appetite.

'Christianity is relationship and any counselor worth her salt will tell you every healthy relationship is based in listening. To love someone, to befriend someone, to really know someone, you have to be willing to listen. You have to continually set aside your own agendas, perceptions and evaluations and listen in order to avoid mis-judging or misunderstanding the other.

Listening is difficult. Perhaps that's why most of us continually seek to label, predict and control our relationships because once a relationship becomes predictable, you no longer have to listen. When you no longer listen you can sit back, shut down and shift into automatic pilot.

But when we stop listening, something is truly lost. When we stop listening, the relationship diminishes - until it becomes a chore we attend to rather than a person we are connected to.

...it would be so much easier if God invited us to accomplish a mission statement rather than enter into a relationship. It's deeply unsettling to discover a God who seeks a mutual friendship rather than our subservient service.

Just for fun

2008-12-26T20:06:00.001+11:00

There was once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

"Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

"Hmm," she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today." So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

"Well," she said, "Today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

"YAY!" she exclaimed. "I don't have to fix my hair today!"

Missing Nanna

2008-12-18T20:08:00.002+11:00

Coming up to Christmas I am thinking about my nanna who died nearly two years ago. I miss going shopping with her. She always had heaps more energy than me, had to look at everything and then paid for lunch!

Here's a little excerpt from a letter written to my pop from a friend after she died. It's an example of the sort of ministry she had, and which I aim to follow.

"I didn't grow up in a Christian family and I think that's one of the reasons Mary specially cared for me she truly was a mother in Christ to me. Every conversation I had with it was a special encouragement and blessing from our Lord. She was always completely interested in me. She always had a smile and an encouraging word, no matter what was going on in her life... Her opinion, her encouragement was so important to me, because I know she knew and loved me and because I knew that she would only say the truth for the glory of God... She made me feel special. She made me feel loved. She pointed me to Christ."

Fudge

2008-12-16T20:29:00.003+11:00

250g brown sugar
375g can sweetened condensed milk
100g butter cubed
2 tbps liquid glucose (available in the baking section of the supermarket)
200g dark cooking chocolate finely chopped - best quality you can afford.

Mix everything except the chocolate together in a glass bowl and place in the microwave for 3 minutes. Take it out and stir with a metal spoon. Place in microwave for 2 minutes. Stir again. Repeat until the mixture has been cooked 5 times.

Stir, allow bubbles to go down and the whole thing to cool a bit and then add the chocolate. Mix until melted. Pour the mixture into a slice tin lined with foil or baking paper. Set in the fridge.

I mark cutting lines into it before it goes completely hard.

Then... try not to eat it all at once.

Fudge

2008-12-14T18:19:00.002+11:00

Ain't this the truth. I've put on a good number of kilos recently.

Especially troublesome have been the little packets of homemade fudge I have been storing in the fridge to give as presents to our local friends.

I can't help eating way more of this stuff than I know is good for me, but it is like velvet for my tastebuds.

Also, tragically, it is extremely easy and quick to make.

If you're interested in the recipe I'll post it soon.

Siblings without rivalry

2008-12-10T22:03:00.002+11:00

I finished the Siblings Without Rivalry book. It was a good read and I'd recommend it for families with more than one child.

Some good points the authors made were:

- don't compare your children - ever and especially not in their hearing.

- try not to cast your children in 'roles' (ie. 'she's the clever one, and he's the funny one')

- if your children express anger with their siblings, allow them to have negative feelings and validate them. Let them know that you understand.

- Imagine if your spouse said to you, "We're having so much fun together that I'd like to marry someone else to join our family. You'll love them! You'll be their best friend." Sounds terrible? It might be how children see the arrival of a new sibling.

Really annoying

2008-12-10T21:59:00.002+11:00

It occurred to me that for 25 years I have had the same annoyance every single day.

I have very slopy shoulders. It means that things fall off them. So every day, I get annoyed by straps sliding off my shoulders and halfway down my arms.

Is there a solution to this?

Salem story

2008-12-05T20:02:00.004+11:00

One of my favourite plays is The Crucible by Arthur Miller. It turns on the story of John Proctor, hanged for being a witch in the town of Salem in Puritan New England in the 1700s.

I was extremely interested to pick up the Heretic's Daughter at the library because it tells the same story, but from the point of view of a different character. Martha Carrier was hanged on the same morning as John Proctor and the story is 'told' by her daughter, who was jailed in miserable conditions at the age of 12 for the same offence.

Martha proclaimed her innocence and was hanged because she would not confess to being a witch. Before she was arrested, she told her daughter to lie to save herself. The little girl 'confessed' to witchcraft and told the court that her mother led her into it. What a dilemma for a 12 year old, and what a thing to have to live with!

It's so well-written by first-time author Kathleen Kent that I was positively jealous. If my first novel comes out half as good I'll be very happy.

I do have a question I need to follow up on, however. My husband and many others I know are very keen on 'Puritan theology'. But if Puritanism led to the witch trials, what went wrong? Perhaps I'm putting two things together which are not linked, but it's a shame to use the same description for a very good thing and a very bad thing. Research needed.

Good things

2008-12-03T18:46:00.003+11:00

Today I gave my standard 'friendship' talk to a lovely group of ladies up in Beverly Hills. Two cool things: 1) I spoke without notes and 2) without even trying I sold all seven copies of Never Alone that I took with me. It was good fun.

Plus, I met my mum for a shopping trip afterwards. Very nice.

I also managed to buy shirts for my three year old - you know, the one who prefers dresses. He won't wear the 'boys' shirts I have in the cupboard waiting for him. So today I was clever enough to find (truly) a boys' pink toned t-shirt, and two Hawaiian shirts with flowers all over them. And yes, I think he will wear them.

This week

2008-12-03T18:43:00.001+11:00

We went to an exhibition of art work that a friend of ours was contributing to. Clearly, Bright Eyes wasn't that happy to be there...

Two new books

2008-12-01T20:09:00.003+11:00

I have started to read these books this week.

Aldort's book is challenging, provoking and moving.

It makes me realise just how conditional my love is for my children, and in fact, for everyone else around me too!

I love the cover - the children's eyes are just piercing.

The second book is along the same lines. I've read chapter one so far and am making notes about the kinds of things that really get my kids riled up at each other. We'll see how it goes...

Dress-ups

2008-12-01T19:58:00.002+11:00

After watching the Edwardian House, my daughter spent the next two days parading around in her best period costume and hair-do (all raided from my cupboard of course) pretending that the rest of us were her 'staff'.

Recent Influences

2008-11-29T07:51:00.003+11:00

Here are some of the more recent influences on my life and thinking. (General disclaimer: Of course, the Bible and my family have been and continue to be big influences.)

The RDI (Relationship Development Intervention) program that we do with our autistic son has changed my whole outlook on parenting and my children.

Arch Hart's books on depression and his Adrenaline and Stress continue to be helpful in understanding why I get grumpy on days off.

Cloud and Townsend's How People Grow is still an enormously helpful book to re-read about spiritual, emotional and personal growth. It keeps me connected to people and being honest.

John Holt's books have been huge in my thinking about education, school and children. Also Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting and his thinking on rewards and punishments. Supplementing these are Joyce Fetteroll's and Sandra Dodd's websites about living with children.

Looking at these, I can see that most of them have to do with children, at least on the outside. However, they have had a great impact on my whole life and attitude as well. The thing I have learned most this year is that I am always learning and everything is connected.

The Suncatchers

2008-11-27T20:37:00.002+11:00

I sent this story off today to an agent. Most of my day has been spent chasing publishers, agents and other book-type people. I'm learning to deal with rejection and get over my nerves about making phone calls. By the way, if you steal my story and get it published, expect me to sue you for the profits!

In the summer, Annie and Andrew’s favourite game was shadow jumping. They played for hours until their shadows were long in the afternoon. When the sun went down, they had to come inside for dinner.

One night, Annie and Andrew’s shadows decided to go to a secret shadow party. Trying not to giggle too much, they sneaked quietly out of the house and ran down to the back of the garden while Annie and Andrew were asleep.

The party was very exciting for the little shadows. They ate fairy bread and drank fizzy orange drinks all night. When the time came for playing hide-and-seek, the shadows scampered around the garden to find extra-special hiding places. But their hiding places were a bit too special...

Annie woke up the next morning with a sun-ray on her face. “Wake up Andrew,” she sang, “Let’s play!” They hopped out of bed, but right away Andrew gasped, “Look! We don’t have our shadows.” It was true. No matter how they twisted and turned, no little shadows appeared. They were lost.

The place to go was the library, said Annie. There was sure to be a book about how to find lost shadows. They coughed a little bit from the dust when the librarian brought them the biggest, oldest book they had ever seen. “Will it have the answer?” breathed Andrew, and yes, it did…

Soon Annie and Andrew were running in the dazzling sunshine up Porky’s Hill to the Big Tree. Andrew climbed to the highest point and held up his empty jam jar at just the right angle. “That’s it!” cried Annie, as Andrew caught the sunshine and quickly put the lid on the jar.

Andrew kept the jar carefully covered by his shirt until they reached the dark jungle at the back of their garden. “This must be where our lost shadows are,” said Annie looking a little fearfully at the snaky vines and dark fern tentacles around them.

Suddenly, Andrew thought he recognised their shadows. “There they are!” he yelled. “Quick,” said Annie. Andrew took the lid off the jam jar to let out the sun rays. In a second, the dark jungle was transformed into a shimmering paradise.

The sunlight from the jar only lasted for a few seconds, but Annie and Andrew’s shadows recognised the children immediately. They hopped on their backs and held on tight while Annie and Andrew raced out into the sunlight. They all celebrated with a game of shadow-jumping.

Try this at home

2008-11-24T18:05:00.003+11:00

How's this for a stress reducer?

When you become aware of an unpleasant emotion or tension creeping into your body or mind, ask yourself these three questions:

1. Could I let it go? (ie. am I capable of letting it go?)
2. Would I let it go?
3. When?

It's had a remarkable impact on my stress levels in only two days of doing it.

Children's books

2008-11-24T17:38:00.002+11:00

Our church had a creative arts display on the weekend. My entries were two illustrated children's books which I 'published' for the occasion. I have tried in the past to find someone to take them on, but had no success. The children's publishing world is a tough bubble to burst.

Having received great feedback from people who saw the copies, however, I'm seriously investigating self-publishing. The president of Mothers Union goes to our church and said she knows MU shops would sell them.

It's my intention to spend much of next year getting out and speaking and trying to sell my friendship book too... if I set up a website and have three books to sell, it might not be impossible.

What do you think?

I love quilts

2008-11-16T22:56:00.001+11:00

Too bad I have at least five unfinished quilt projects sitting my cupboards.

Hierarchy and communication

2008-11-15T13:29:00.003+11:00

We watched through to the final episode of Edwardian House yesterday. It was not only beautifully filmed and edited, but it was also eye-opening to see just how much society has changed in 100 years.

Not unexpectedly, the 'servants' were pretty happy to go home. They were tired after working harder and longer than they had ever done in their lives. But the 'Lord and Lady' of the house cried real tears.

"I'm born to this," said Lady Olliffe-Cooper. Sir John said, "Democracy can be taken too far. Edwardian times worked."

The family left the house first, and, somewhat ironically gave the servants all warm hugs and handshakes in turn. The servants were not won over.

"They don't know us," said one of the housemaids. We know everything about them, but they know nothing about us."

In fact, Sir John went 'downstairs' for the first time on the last night of his three month stay. He never addressed the lower servants directly, and he punished them at various points for slight misdeeds.

Life was definitely a lot better on the top of the pile. Those at the bottom suffered, but they couldn't say how they really felt. The opinions of the people in power were the only ones that mattered.

The Butler's final assessment of the upstairs/downstairs split was this:

"There's no doubt about it. A strict hierarchy does work. But it is at the cost of communication. And when a society cannot tell the truth, it is a sick society."

What personality is my blog?

2008-11-14T08:48:00.003+11:00

I did that 'typeanalyze' thing that Megan discovered and entered my blog. Here are the results:

The analysis indicates that the author of http://www.loveasunnyday.blogspot.com is of the type:
ESFP - The Performers

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves. The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.

Funny, but I've always tested to be an E/INFJ. Perhaps I have a 'blog persona' that I put on when I write? Or perhaps it's just flawed...

Trivial bits and pieces

2008-11-14T08:39:00.003+11:00

1. My friend bought me a donut machine. They make great tasting little gluten free treats. Hopefully I'll be able to sneak some vegies or supplements into the batter without anyone seeing.

2. I'm 35 and I still bite my nails.

3. Dreams. Lately I've been having night-long sagas with quite good stories, and lots of emotional range. Interesting.

4. Bought a book for my mother in law's birthday, but I'm too tempted to read it myself in the non-creased page way before I give it to her. It's called the 19th wife - about polygamy in Utah. I'm so interested in that stuff.

5. Can't stop eating cake.

6. This year is the year of wearing summer skirts rather than cropped pants. Felt like a change.

7. I'm going to really really miss my little girl next year. We've decided it's probably best for her brother (and therefore for us all) if she goes back to school and we focus on his therapy. But I feel so so disappointed about it.

8. I'm daydreaming about getting a huge book contract from Zondervan in the US, selling up, buying an RV for a year and travelling the States promoting it and speaking.

9. The other daydream is moving to the bush, building my own house, getting a horse and working the vegie patch. I like the idea - just not the work involved!

10. Great Bible study on the Body of Christ and how people are necessary for growth. I love that God 'wears us as his clothes' as he dispenses grace.

The Suncatchers

2008-11-14T08:28:00.006+11:00

Here's an illustration for a children's story I wrote about 8 years ago. At the time, I didn't realise just how hard it is to get yourself onto a publisher's list and blithely collaborated with an artistic friend from high school who put hours and hours into the pictures, for no result.

The story, originally in prose, was rejected by several different publishers. I've rewritten it in verse this year and I'm going to try again.

It's about two children whose shadows go out one night for a party. They get lost and can't find their way home so the children have to look for them. They catch some sunlight in a jar and let it out in the darkest part of the garden, and of course, the little shadows are there, sad and sorry. Everyone is happy to be reunited, and the shadows stay in bed from now on.

My beautiful daughter

2008-11-09T19:27:00.000+11:00

Power and the lack of it

2008-11-09T19:14:00.002+11:00

My daughter and I are watching the series Edwardian House, where 19 modern day people are 'sent' back in time to live and work as a household would have done in 1906.

Life is, of course, bad for the servants. I don't think anyone expected otherwise. What may have turned out to be surprising for some, however, was the difficult time one of the 'upstairs' family had. The lady of the house's maiden sister came to live with the family, but left after several weeks suffering depression and ill health.

It wasn't because of the luxury. She had every perk that a rich woman could have had living in her position. It was because of the lack of freedom that she had as a person.

Because her status was low as an unmarried woman, and because she was dependent on her brother in law for her food, clothes and shelter, she was unable to express her own opinions, choose her own activities, see her own friends, or entertain her own company. The formalities of Edwardian life made it impossible for her to get out and see more of life.

I wasn't surprised. I know how women fare in positions where they have no freedom and no power. In fact, it's not just women. If any person has to live in a position of dependence and powerlessness, it is damaging to health, physical, emotional and mental.

If there's one thing I value, it is my freedom to express my opinions and follow my own interests and passions. I'm so sad for the millions of women and children (and men too, but to a lesser extent) whose lives are so constrained by men in power.

Triangulation

2008-11-07T18:12:00.004+11:00

Triangulation is something we all do frequently, and I don't want to do it any more. To understand it, imagine a triangle with three points, A, B and C.

Person A wants to establish a relationship with person B. The easiest and quickest way to do this is to insult or insinuate person C, whom they both know. A and B find that their immediate link is through their dislike of person C. It doesn't just stop there, though. It's equally easy for B to find a connection with C by dissing A, and so the triangle goes on.

If we think about it, we do this ALL the time. It's so easy to put down others, without even thinking about it. I am trying to make myself aware of when I do it, and find other ways to connect with people.

Birthday

2008-11-01T21:06:00.002+11:00

Today we held a beautiful little birthday party for my nearly three year old. It was calm, happy and delightful.

The children played in the cubby house, with the dress ups and on the bikes. They ate, drank, played duck duck goose and then we cut the cake.

Do you like it? My daughter and I made and decorated it. The name down the side was just to use up the rest of the icing!

Target

2008-10-28T22:17:00.001+11:00

I once saw an amazing documentary about the World Hair Olympics. Stylists from around the globe met together in one venue to ‘out-do’ each other and win the grand hairdressing prize.

The hairdressers trained for more than a year to do only one hairstyle each. It was planned down to the minutest detail of cut, colour and length. Curls were flicked and sprayed to exact angles. Feathers and flowers were added. The results were like nothing I’ve ever had on my head!

Each stylist practiced on mannequin heads for months leading up to the actual event when they used a real person. The heads were washed, blow dried, coloured and then washed, blow dried and coloured again.

Once the competition was over and the heads had lost their purpose, they were discarded.

Where did they end up?

Not on an urban rubbish heap. These particular mannequin heads were given to the local police department to be used as target practice. Each head was mounted on a spike while police officers fired round after round into them.

It is possible for us to treat people who do not yet know Christ in a similar way to these mannequin heads.

We get to know them and we spend time with them but it’s only until they’ve served their purpose. Then when we’re ready, we target them and fill them, bang bang bang, with the gospel message.

I would hope that no Christian would ever consciously target someone else for evangelism in this way. However, it is an easy trap to fall into. There are many reasons we do it -- and many of them are good reasons.

Sometimes we value the importance and the truth of the Gospel message so much that we forget the value and importance of the people we are sharing it with. A feeling of urgency can make the end result seem more important than the process.

Targeting people is foul. Being friends with people in order to ‘get them along’ or invite them to a Bible study is basically using them for a quota system.

People know when they are being used. People know when they are being manipulated into ‘buying’ something, whether that’s a mobile phone, an overseas holiday, or a religious belief.

We should be friends with people because they are people – because they are God’s creations, loved by God. And our lives should be so imbued with the love of God that sharing Jesus will come out in natural, gentle ways.

People will see our lives and hear our speech and know that God has made that difference because we are open. When we are lovingly curious about their lives and want to share them, they may pay us the compliment of being curious about our lives and the God that we serve.

I cried

2008-10-27T19:31:00.002+11:00

This is the latest book to be discussed by our book club. I absolutely loved it and the chapter in which the author's young husband died made me cry real tears.

Well worth a read!

Sign of the times

2008-10-27T19:21:00.003+11:00

Water restrictions have had an effect on all of our lives.

My nine year old was invited to a friend's place on a hot day and was asked to bring her swimmers.

"Why do I have to bring them Mum?" she asked.

"You're going to play in the sprinkler," I explained.

"What's a sprinkler?" she wanted to know.

On holidays

2008-10-05T16:30:00.001+11:00

We're having two weeks away at the beach from tomorrow, so bye bye bloggy land. See you all soon!

It's all finished!

2008-10-03T10:06:00.003+10:00

Have a look at the cubby house - inside and out. I'm really really delighted with it, and the children are like pigs in mud.

Birthday cake

2008-10-02T08:43:00.001+10:00

My poor hubby missed out on his birthday party this year because our boys were suffering from the vomiting bug.

However, we did get to eat his birthday cake, made before the dreaded throw-ups started.

Painting the cubby

2008-10-01T20:05:00.004+10:00

I know, they aren't great photos - obviously I need to wipe the lens... but here's the progress on the cubby house.

The paint is on - green with white trim on the outside. One room is cream inside and the other is pink.

Below is my neighbour, the brains and designer behind the whole operation. He's making the roof frame and tomorrow we should have a completed house!

Once again, our other neighbour came over to have a stickybeak and a cuppa!

Cecily

2008-09-29T22:22:00.002+10:00

How does the creator of this cartoon know so much about my life?

Fruit grower

2008-09-29T12:27:00.003+10:00

For years I've been pondering the fruit of the spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control. How do you really get them in your life anyway?

I've tried 'trying harder'. But forcing love just makes me more bitter and cross at the end of the day. I've tried praying and have asked frequently for supernatural injections of love and patience but the results have been disappointing.

It struck me the other day that perhaps I am attempting to 'manufacture' fruit instead of preparing the conditions for the fruit to grow naturally. Rather than focus on the fruit itself, I need to look more closely at where it is growing.

So taking a roundabout look at each of the fruits of the spirit in turn, and what they need to blossom may be more helpful. It will give me an interesting picture of what life 'in the Spirit' might look like.

For example: I find it hard to be patient when:
- I'm rushing
- I have expectations of other people that they don't share
- I am focused on the things I 'need to do' or I'm trying to do too much.
- I have a lot in my head at once.
- I forget about the real goal or purpose of my life.
- I have not slept or eaten properly.
- I am not rested sufficiently.
- I am angry and have not told the truth about my feelings.
- I am worried.

So from this I know I need to slow down - in both physical speed and emotional intensity. I need to take care of myself in terms of food and rest. I need to tell the truth and not hide my feelings. I need to be sensible in what I am trying to do and understand what I can take on. I need to give up my need to be a superhero and achieve everythign. I need to organise myself with enough time, or else be willing to give up deadlines.

With enough steady slow watering, my patience will grow!

A truly amazing book

2008-09-25T20:26:00.003+10:00

I've been reading a little more of this book. It requires taking small bites rather than swallowing great slabs because every paragraph of every page is so full of treasures.

Sittser is in the unenviable position of having lost his wife, mother and daughter in one car accident. A Grace Disguised tells some of his journey of faith through the hard years following his loss. I was moved by the story he tells about moving through his pain.

Immediately following the funeral, Sittser fell into a despairing darkness. At the time he thought he would never emerge from it. A few nights later he had a dream where he was alone on a vast plain. The sun was setting - going further and further west, and he could see that however far he ran, he would never be able to reach the light. He felt that the darkness would swallow him up.

He talked about the dream to his brother, a pastor and poet. For him, it called to mind a poem by John Donne, where west meets east. His sister in law then told him that the quickest way to reach light is apparently not to run west, chasing it, but to run east, into the darkness.

Sittser took a decision to 'run east' and accept and embrace his loss rather than deny it. It didn't make it easier for him to bear it, but it helped him to know that he would see the strains of daylight sooner.

Cubby progress

2008-09-23T20:33:00.002+10:00

All the walls are up. Now to finish the cladding, re-fix the window and put the roof on. After that, I hand over to interior decorator hubby to make it pretty!

Another challenging morning

2008-09-19T18:11:00.002+10:00

I got enough responses to my 'alarming morning' post that I thought I would share my other recent challenging morning.

The first thing to know is that I have a cross-dressing two-year old. He only puts on boys clothes if he's going out. His preferred outfits are his sister's pink floral dresses. He wears her shoes everywhere and he loves playing with Barbies.

Sunday mornings I am on my own. Andrew is normally already at church by the time the kids are awake and its up to me to get everyone dressed, fed, groomed and out the door for the 9:30 service.

On this particular morning, the two year old who had been dressed correctly, found the pink floral dress about five minutes before we had to leave. He undressed completely and put it on.

I was in a rush and he wasn't going to take off the 'pink', so I put him in the car with the intention to dress him once we got to church before he got out of the car.

We arrived to find no spots in the concreted car park, so had to park under the trees. But it had been raining and the dirt had turned to MUD. I opened the door and started to dress the little boy. So far so good, but then something happened that never ever ever happens: my five year old got out of the car by himself. Normally this would be a great achievement. The only problem was that he slid his feet (no shoes) straight down into the MUD.

So I had a half-dressed toddler squirming to get out, a five year old screaming with muddy feet. The complicating factor in all this was the new cream upholstery in our brand new car.

Somehow I managed to wipe feet, keep seats clean, dress a kid, put on shoes and get both of them out and into the church building so that I could head to the kitchen and prepare the morning tea I also had to carry in with me.

However, I made a fatal mistake.

The toddler wanted that pink dress so much that I let him carry it inside with him. While I was busy in the kitchen, he went to the creche, took off all his clothes and put the pink dress on again.

The next thing I knew was my son was running through the church hall dressed in a pink floral dress with a huge grin on his face. I swiped him up and plonked him back in the car, whipped the dress off and got rid of it. He started to tantrum and refused his clothes. I had to leave him naked in the car while I went back to get the five year old who can't cope without me at church.

In the end, it was a matter of waiting out the tantrum. You can normally time his episodes to about 25-30 minutes. Once he'd cried it out, he was happy to get dressed in his shorts and head into church.

Amazingly, I was laughing. It was an amusing morning! And you can see a picture of the dreaded pink dress in the photo of our cubby house two posts below!

An alarming morning

2008-09-18T18:13:00.003+10:00

Thursday is the morning I do the preschool run. It's rarely straight-forward, but this morning it was especially interesting.

It began about 8.30 just as I was finishing packing the boys lunch. The two year old was so excited to be going that he began emptying his bag and eating his lunch. Mess everywhere.

Then my nine-year old came in in a state of panic. She had a harp lesson at 10am and was looking for her tuning key. "Have you seen it? Where is it mum?"

I suggested she look in the special place where we had decided she should keep it. No tuning key. We walked around the house looking in the obvious places, but still no tuning key. I rang the RSL club on the chance I might have left it there last Sunday (hockey presentations... long story), but no tuning key.

"We'll have to check at church," I said and proceeded to repack the two year old's bag and get him and his sister into the car.

Then it was time to move the five year old. He has autism, and hates transitions. I had to pick him up screaming and calm him down to put him in the car, having already put in his shoes and bag.

We then went on the drop off. Thankfully the younger son was easy. He literally danced in. It was just as well because the five year old was NOT GOING TO PRESCHOOL MUM!
"I'm Going Later Mum. I'm Missing Preschool. It's Locked. I Want To Go Home!!!" All at the top of his voice in full screaming mode as I drove the car down the hill.

I wrenched him out of the car and we sat on the kerb for a while. The preschool teacher finally heard the din and came out to help. Together we got him through the gate and spent ten minutes trying to calm him down to no avail. Meanwhile, there were parents coming in and out asking me kindly, "Are you ok?" "Is it his first time here?" I just couldn't tell them that he's been coming all year and except for maybe four mornings, he's cried every time.

In the middle of this, the new car alarm went off. My daughter was sitting inside and unlocked the door. I wasn't quite sure what to do, but pressing enough remote buttons on the key thankfully shut it down.

Finally I got him inside and left. The next task was to find the tuning key. We turned into the church carpark and I noticed there were no cars parked, which meant probably there was no one there, which meant I would have to negotiate the building alarm. I don't know the password!

I took a punt that there might just be someone inside, or perhaps that the alarm was off, so I unlocked the door, but my punt sank. As soon as we got inside, the siren wailed and whined.

I decided I wouldn't waste an open door, so went to look for the tuning key anyway. My ears are pretty used to high pitched screeches by now! Wouldn't you know it - it wasn't there! (The alarm reset itself when I left and I took a call from security checking I wasn't a robber.)

We prayed before we went home that we would find the tuning key. The harp has 30 strings, and it was sounding pretty bad, so we definitely needed to tune. We walked in and the second place I looked was inside the piano stool.

"Oh yeah," said my daughter. "I remember now. I put it in there!"

Cubby progress

2008-09-15T19:09:00.001+10:00

Here's the progress on the cubby house. We put the walls up today on the first room.

Below you can see my carpentry teacher and next door neighbour who came up with the plans for this mansion. He has designed it so that it can be unbolted and moved, should we shift sometime in the future.

My other neighbour in the picture came in to see what the excitement was all about!
There will be another room on the side (where the walls are not completed) - the 'writing room' according to my daughter.

Next task is to make the frames and floor for room 2, clad them and put them up. We'll work on the roof at the end.

Bread

2008-09-13T20:04:00.003+10:00

I got really hungry for chappati bread (unleavened flat bread from Pakistan) the other day, so I decided to make some.

Unfortunately it turned out tough and burned. Not good enough by half. It certainly didn't measure up to my memories of eating our friend Izzat's chappatis in Rattanbad when we lived in Pakistan.

Thank goodness for the internet. I looked up how to make chappatis and came up with a few tips which made the following day's attempt a lot more acceptable.

Here's how I did it.

I mixed half wholemeal flour and half white flour with a little salt and enough water to make a soft, sticky dough. Apparently this makes a softer chappati. I kneaded it in my Whizz Power Mix for about five minutes and let it rest for half an hour.

Then I rolled out small balls nice and flat - the edges need to be flatter than the sides so that it helps the chappati puff up. Mine are not quite round. I wish I was more perfectionistic and could get them perfectly circular. Oh well. They all go down the same way.

I cooked them in my heavy wok - although it's not quite right. They would have done better over gas, but it was ok with an electric burner. The pan was pretty hot. I cooked one side and pressed down gently with a tea towel to help it puff up in the middle. Then cooked the other side.

Unfortunately I ate way way way too many of these. Then I did something even worse and deep fried them to make poori. Even more yummy, but bad for the waistband of my jeans...

Love/hate

2008-09-11T21:52:00.002+10:00

Thanks to my husband's inspiration, I will compile a love/hate list

Love
earrings and shoes
a good project that requires planning and execution
the finished feeling when I complete a good project
showing off my good project
speaking in public
sharing a joke with my children (they think I'm funny)
laughing at my husband's jokes (I think he's funny)
food - in quantity
rollerskating, pilates and a good swim
a nice cup of tea

Hate
making phone calls
organising holidays
taking out the garbage
being interrupted when I'm in the middle of a good project
my susceptibility to RSI
sports interviews on TV or radio
male bravado
female helplessness
the sounds of people breathing or snoring
dripping taps and ticking clocks
when people don't listen

Harping on...

2008-09-09T16:24:00.002+10:00

We have found a 30-string folk harp for our daughter to learn to play. It's a beautiful instrument and she's delighted. Already she's learning to play the Cradle Song and practicing her children's band pieces. It sounds gorgeous.

Laughing

2008-09-07T22:48:00.002+10:00

Children

2008-09-05T19:33:00.003+10:00

My nine year old daughter said today, "Life is like an adventure, and heaven is home."

I said, "You should write that down and use it in a book." She looked at me as if I was crazy.

And it's official. The two year old managed to get through the entire winter without ever putting on a top, jacket or jumper with long sleeves, long pants in a heavier fabric than cotton, or socks with his shoes.

Obsessive escapism or just having fun?

2008-09-04T07:13:00.004+10:00

My brain loves a project and I'm really really really loving building my cubby house right now!

This picture shows my latest achievement. I managed to build a side frame with pointy roofy bits AND put in a window ($5 from the tip). I've got another gorgeous old frosted window for another frame.

People ask me how I have time to do this sort of thing. Honestly, I get kind of obsessed over my projects so I sneak half hours here and there to go down and build. I also tend to make decisions like: hmmm, washing or building? cooking or building? cleaning or building? Building wins right now.

As well, I figure I'm doing this for the children's ultimate enjoyment and play. They will LOVE this cubby house and I hope it will get them outside a lot together.

I'm also modelling learning new skills, trying things out and showing that you can make things and make it good with bits and pieces; everything you get doesn't have to be new from the shop. I hope that my children might one day think, "Mum built things and found ways past the challenges, so I can too."

Epic journey

2008-09-04T07:05:00.004+10:00

My husband is very good at buying books. It's a skill that doesn't always get my total approval, but his most recent purchase is a real gem.

I've been a bit cross with God recently, mostly over prayer that appears to be unanswered in the way I want so my dear husband found me two books to help. Jerry Sittser is the author of both of them. (I'd tell you the titles, but then I'd have to get up from the computer and walk through the house to get them...)

Sittser lost a mother, wife and daughter in a car accident and is now the single father of the three remaining children. He's been through the wringer and come out the other side and his insights are very very helpful to me.

The idea that is sitting in my head right now is what he says about seeing prayer as an 'epic journey'. You get there in the end, but there are huge ups and downs along the way. Think Frodo and the Lord of the rings. If he'd given up when he met his first obstacle, the ring would never have been destroyed. In the same way, our epic journeys of prayer will not necessarily be straightforward and may well be dangerous and life-threatening.

I'm looking forward to reading the remaining chapters.

Cubby house

2008-08-30T19:01:00.004+10:00

I'm building the kids a cubby house. I've enlisted the help of our lovely neighbour and he is showing me what to do. This is the progress as of yesterday. The floor and one wall frame have been done. Today I measured, sawed and hammered another wall frame. My arm muscles are complaining.

Starting at a new group

2008-08-30T18:45:00.002+10:00

Some more from my newly finished book...
I’ve come in new to enough groups of people that I know what usually happens. I also know how bad I usually feel, and have worked out a way to get over it. What is normal, and how will you feel when you walk into a new group? This is the rough mental plan that I rely on.

First 5 minutes
Probably will happen...
Not many people will talk to you although they might eye you curiously. This doesn’t necessarily mean they hate you. It just means they feel shy too. You’ll feel uncomfortable, out of place and a little lost. You might get an overwhelming desire to turn around, leave and never come back.
Keep going! These are completely normal feelings. Act confident, breathe deeply and you’ll come through it.

Probably won't happen...
As you enter, you probably won’t see people with outstretched arms pointing at you and laughing (unless you arrive in a bunny suit). You probably won’t have things thrown at you. You probably won’t be attacked verbally or physically. If this does happen, take off the bunny suit. But either way, you should probably turn around and walk out! Who needs the abuse?

First 10 minutes
Probably will happen...
If you’ve found your contact person, you’ll probably be introduced to a couple of people. You’ll have some slightly awkward and stilted chat. You might not know where to go to get to the facilities. You’ll still feel weird and embarrassed. Keep going! This is normal. It will get easier. Remember, you’re not the only one who’s talking to someone new. The others are just as shy as you. If you need to, ask your way to the bathroom, put on some lip gloss for confidence, pray and regroup with some deep breathing in a stall!

Probably won't happen...
It would be unusual for absolutely no-one to have spoken to you at all by this stage. If looks of pure hatred and disgust are still being shot your way, you might want to consider a few things: First, check your body language and appearance. Are you suitably dressed? Does your body language say ‘I don’t want to be here?’ Do you look confident? Ask yourself if you’re just paranoid. Find someone you know and ask them to introduce you around.
If none of this works, or someone spits in your face, perhaps you have stumbled into a group of neo-Nazis about to elect their new leader, and you probably should get out while the going is good.

First half hour
Probably will happen...
By this stage, hopefully you will have participated in the group in some small way. You should be feeling more comfortable in the room. You may have had some conversations with a few people. You’ll still feel like you’re doing a lot of work and expending a lot of effort for not much return, but rest assured, this is still normal. Keep going. Make it a challenge to yourself to last another half hour!

Probably won't happen...
If anyone is going to throw fried eggs at you or set an explosion, it would probably be at this point. If you collect a fried egg around the head, you are absolutely within your rights to leave. And fast.

At the end
Go home, write down everyone’s names that you remember for reference for next time. Put the next meeting in your diary. Take a nice hot shower, treat yourself (my choice is chocolate) and feel pleased that the worst is over! You’ve done really well! If you come home bruised and battered physically or emotionally, hop in the bath and have a long soak. Nurse your wounds and remember – you’re not a failure just because you encountered an unfriendly group of people!

Love a cup of tea...

2008-08-24T06:44:00.002+10:00

Birthday season is over at our house for a while and I thought I'd go out with a bang.

This is the cake for the nine year old. Ambitious, I know, but I fell in love with a teapot in one of the cake decorating books and knew I wouldn't be content until I had done it.

Honestly and truly, it was a lot easier than it looks. If you can do playdough, you can do a cake like this.

The trick is to start early - don't try to do it the night before.

I made two round cakes and some muffins a week ago. When the cakes were cool, I stuck them on top of each other with some butter icing and then shoved all of them in the freezer.

A few days later I pulled them out and carved the shape of the ball out of the two round cakes. I also trimmed off the muffins so they were a little more tea cup shaped.

Once I was happy with the shape, I covered the whole thing in a layer of butter icing (you could also use apricot jam). This is what keeps the crumbs from falling into everything and wrecking the design. I then put it back into the freezer until I was ready to decorate it.

Then came the fun bit. I bought readymade white icing in a little box from the supermarket. I can't remember what it's called, but it's up high and next to the marzipan icing.

If you can do playdough, this stuff is just the same! I rolled it out to cover the teapot and the teacups and added food colouring for the handles and the decorations. The spout and the teapot handle are just modelled icing, held on with toothpicks. I didn't make the icing flowers on the teapot - you can buy them in the cake section at the supermarket.

Finally, the little cups had a teaspoon of chocolate mousse added to the top to look like hot chocolate or coffee.

My daughter didn't want to cut it - she thought it was too good to eat!

Nine year olds

2008-08-22T20:08:00.002+10:00

I try not to post too much about my children on this blog, but I've really been enjoying watching my nine year old interact with her friends over the past few weeks.

They began filming a 'movie' one afternoon, acting out the roles from 'Enchanted' and finding props for sets around the house. It was such fun for them that they decided they wanted to finish it and have spent about the last four Wednesday afternoons at our place doing scenes and having me film them with the video camera.

We're about two thirds of the way through now. My daughter and I have been editing it and learning a lot about the video editor as we go!

I love listening to them organise themselves, practice and then do the filming. I've also heard them start to discuss the characters and their ethics, find holes in the plot and work out where the script falls down. It's been better than sending them to a discussion group at film school!

They've improved in all areas in the weeks they've been doing it, and when they finish they'll have a gorgeous little film to watch together, together with a blooper reel.

And just for fun: here' s a quote from another nine year old. I heard her discussing another little girl with my daughter.

"Yes, I think she's about my 38th best friend."

One more week

2008-08-19T07:47:00.001+10:00

Yep, I think I've got about a week's worth of work left to do on my book! How cool.

Now hopefully the publishers will like what they see!

What to do with my life?

2008-08-17T22:21:00.002+10:00

At the beginning of middle age, it's time to consider what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.

Here are a few of the things I'm thinking about. If anyone has any more suggestions, I'm all ears!

- Children. I'm very committed to being present with my children, and to giving them opportunities to learn and grow, gentle guidance and as much patience and love and enjoyment of our relationship as I can. So most of the time I'm going to need to spend with them, especially as the littlest is still only two. This will take up the majority of the next 16 years!

- Writing. This is definitely my 'first love' in terms of career. Writing is what I have always wanted to do, ever since I was aged 5 and engaged to James Carson (who was 3 at the time). Incidentally, we had big plans for our life together. We'd live in NZ, have two boys and two girls, all of whose names began with R, he would be a farmer and I would be a writer. As long as I can keep getting up early in the morning, I can probably do this. It will get easier once the kiddies are a little more independent. I would love to do a story set in Pakistan, but I might have to wait a few years before I can travel without leaving everyone stranded at home.

- RDI. I know a number of autistic/Aspergers' teenagers and adults. I would really love to become an RDI consultant and specialise in helping these older folk gain the relationship skills they want. The barrier to doing this is oh, around about $10,000 AUD for the course, plus two lots of airfares to Houston. Then there is the time to see clients. If somehow I managed to wangle a day per week free, it could work, but that could be hard. I'll have to pray about it.

- all the other stuff. Bible study, speaking here and there, seeing friends, keeping fit, doing some quilting, having time to spend with various others.

Any more suggestions?

Friendships in the Bible III: Onesimus and Philemon

2008-08-17T22:18:00.001+10:00

Of all the stories of friendship in the Bible, I love Onesimus and Philemon most. Philemon is such a tiny little book in the New Testament but its meanings and implications are profound and drastic.

Philemon is a book that must shake us to our core if and change our relationships and social life if we take it seriously.

It centers, appropriately enough, around Philemon, a wealthy man of good social standing, who becomes a Christian possibly through Paul’s ministry, and his rebellious, runaway slave, Onesimus.

In those days, masters owned slaves. It was not an equal relationship by any means. In ordinary circumstances, Philemon and Onesimus were certainly not relating to each other as people, peers or equals. They would not have been friends.

Onesimus stole money from Philemon and ran away. We’re not told more than that except that in some extraordinary way, he ended up with Paul in Rome and became a Christian. He could have stayed there and begun a new life, but Paul was keen to see Philemon and Onesimus reconciled -- and in a bigger way than just a master and slave.

Paul writes his short letter to Philemon and asks them to accept Onesimus back – as a brother. Not as a slave, but as a child of God like himself, in fact a friend.

Philemon is being called on to give up all the social expectations of his day. Accepting Onesimus back as a slave would be a scandal, even with a suitable punishment. But to welcome him into his house as an equal and friend and valued human being would really turn things upside down! Philemon would probably find himself on the outside amongst his peers.

This is Christianity that really makes waves. To go against social norms, class and race lines or socioeconomic status and make friends with people who are considered ‘lesser’ is a very courageous thing to do.

Philemon is being asked to do it and to demonstrate the character of God in a beautifully scandalous way – a very costly way to himself.

This is what God saving love brings us to do – to break down the man-made barriers of hatred of difference that we create and maintain at the cost of people’s lives. Social scandals are as real today as they were in Philemon’s time. But Christian friendship goes across money, status, and social acceptance. Christian friendship is radical and beautifully scandalous.

Six random facts

2008-08-16T14:12:00.003+10:00

I've been tagged to do another meme by Prue (see link to the side). I'm going to disobey the rules and not copy them down here. How naughty! Also - anyone who wants to can do this one themselves. I unofficially tag AP, Jess and MW.

The meme requires six random facts about myself, so here goes.

1. Despite my best intentions, I remain uncommitted to composting.

2. Ditto clearing out the clutter and having "a place for everything and everything in its place."

3. I invent new future careers and business opportunities for myself every time I discover something new. Unfortunately (or perhaps thankfully) I rarely if ever follow through! In the last two years I've wanted to be a pilates instructor, alexander technique teacher, psychologist/counsellor, RDI consultant, online seller of "Not your daughters jeans", blockbuster writer, newspaper columnist...

4. I once declared 14 to be the 'ideal age'. Of course, that was before I was actually 14.

5. No-one ever had my name or my birthday when I was growing up.

6. If I read intense or emotional books or watch intense or emotional movies I become... yes, intense and emotional.

I'm not creative, just stingy...

2008-08-13T21:53:00.003+10:00

My beautiful middle son is turning 5 this week, and loves (no, adores) all things Thomas the Tank Engine. In looking for the right present for him, I saw a wonderful looking engine shed in the shops.
However, on closer inspection, it turned out that two pieces of plywood and a bit of paint and plastic was retailing at over $70.

My Scottish heritage kicked in and I decided to make one. It's constructed out of cardboard and foam with paper mache over the top.

The piece de resistance that I am especially proud of is the way the doors open. They are secured with a long, thin knitting needle, stuck all the way through the doors and walls.

He's pretty happy with it. And I'm pretty excited about paper mache... what else can I cover with gooey paper... ?

Friendships in the Bible II: David and Jonathan

2008-08-13T21:52:00.001+10:00

The famous friendship of the Bible has to be that of David and Jonathan. The close, intense relationship between the shepherd boy turned warrior/anointed king-in-waiting and the reigning king’s son has inspired art and literature throughout history.

But on a careful reading, I think they should be known as Jonathan and David, because Jonathan did most of the initiating and maintaining of the friendship – at least in the beginning.

The Bible says that Jonathan took a real liking to David. He made a covenant with him. He loved him as himself. He gave him presents – a robe, weapons, clothing - and provided for him. He warned David about plots against him by his father, he spoke out for him to his father and he used his influence to keep him safe.

It’s not surprising that Jonathan was the main player in the relationship at first, because as the son of the king, he was the one with the power in this relationship. But it is a power that he used for the good of his friend – and at a cost to himself in the end. Every time he kept David safe or promoted his interests, he was destroying his own chances of inheriting his father’s throne. Jonathan’s friendship with David was at the cost of his own career and reputation!

(The intensity of the relationship between Jonathan and David described in 1 Samuel 18-20 has led some commentators to argue that it could have been a sexual relationship. However the text never uses the usual words for sexual intercourse. In Gen 44:30 Jacob’s soul is ‘bound’ to his brother Benjamin in the same words. I like the fact that the most intense friendship in the Bible is between two men. It goes against our stereotype of men only being able to relate over a beer or a game of footy.)

Jonathan was a friend with some pretty impressive qualities. His loyalty to David and courage in the face of political pressure, and an angry, murderous father was unquestioned. He had the humility to say openly that he would never be king. He followed up his commitments, he was generous and he did it all ‘before the Lord’. He showed genuine affection, loyalty and openness. He was the friend everyone would love to have!

But while Jonathan was the one with the power initially, David was not just a passive ‘taker’ in all of this either. As time went on their friendship grew so that by the end it was definitely a two-way relationship between equals. When the pair had to part, the story says that David ‘wept the most’. At Jonathan’s death, David showed immense grief.

One of the particularly beautiful aspects of this friendship was the way David and Jonathan covenanted to do good to each other’s family and descendents. They knew that as technical rivals to the same throne, it was more than likely that their families and heirs could grow to hate each other and try to eliminate their opponents. They took steps to stop the cycle of rivalry and hate – and as time went on, it worked!

Jonathan and David’s friendship has a lot to teach us about power, self-sacrifice and loyalty. Most of us today are unlikely to be in a situation where we become best friends with our greatest rivals.

Cake

2008-08-07T17:29:00.000+10:00

Oh yes. It certainly has.

Friendships in the Bible I

2008-08-07T17:25:00.002+10:00

For years I thought that God was inefficient. It just didn’t seem to make sense that the Bible is so big and so full of complicated stories. Surely if God really wanted us to know what he was like and how to live, he could have done it in less space and with the use of a few well-placed bullet points.

Thankfully, as I have gotten older, I have come to appreciate efficiency less and relationships more. Now that I understand that God operates in relational ways, it makes sense that his story is told with in the rough-and-tumble of relationships in history.

The Bible is full of friendships – between God and people and between people themselves. We can learn a lot about ourselves and our own relationships by looking at theirs.

The beginning of the book of Ruth tells the story of a woman who had lost everything.

Naomi and her family had left Israel because of famine and had tried to make a life in Moab. But things did not run smoothly. First and probably disappointingly, her two boys grew up and married women who were not Israelites. Next and tragically, Naomi’s husband died. The final horror came with the death of both her sons; the sting in the tail was that both of them had failed to have any children.

Naomi was left with no means of support and no hopes for a family to continue into the future. She had nothing in the present and nothing to look forward to. She returned to Israel low, bitter and more than likely depressed.

But for all her losses, she did have something and that something was a friend. Naomi’s daughter-in-law Ruth came back to Israel with her.
I’ve sometimes wondered if Ruth stuck with Naomi only out of loyalty to the in-law relationship they both had. I wondered if she felt she was doing a duty by the older woman. I think this may have been the case at the beginning, when both daughters-in-law began to start home with Naomi. However, Naomi released them of whatever duty they had when she tried to send them home.

“I can’t give you anything,” she said. “Go back to your homes and families.”

Having been freed of her responsibility, Ruth was then free to choose to go with Naomi. She stuck with her mother-in-law by choice. And a beautiful friendship grew from that free choice.

Ruth was very good for her older friend. Her presence meant that Naomi was not alone in the shame of returning home in failure and tragedy. Ruth was the one who went out to work and provided for them both. Their lives were tied up together.

Ruth was different from Naomi – in language, age, culture and understanding. She was probably not the ideal friend that Naomi would have envisaged for herself if she had thought about it. Naomi would probably have chosen someone who was of the same background, or who spoke the same language fluently. She probably would have wanted someone closer in age to herself, or who had experienced famine and the same things she had gone through. Yet Ruth loved both God and Naomi and she had chosen to be there. That was enough for the relationship to go ahead on.

As Ruth looked after Naomi and supported her, Naomi started to feel a little better. Better enough anyway, to start to have Ruth’s own interests at heart. You know you’re really depressed when all you can think about are your own problems. You know you’re starting to come out of it when you can take a real interest in other people’s issues.

Naomi saw that Ruth who had been so good to her really could do with a bit of a life. She saw an opportunity to provide for her and she took steps and solved one of their biggest problems by getting Boaz to marry Ruth.

It’s almost as if Naomi went from saying “I’m completely empty and God is completely against me” to being able to recognize the things God had given her in Ruth and the opportunities God was providing in Boaz.

By the end of the story, Naomi was no longer empty, bitter and tragic. She was a different woman, and it was because of what God gave her in her friend Ruth.

God gives us people who are good for us, even if they aren’t the people we would choose. He often shows his love for us and his blessings through the love of other people, and he can turn around tragic situations through the friendship and support of our friends.

Take that Donna Hay!

2008-08-03T20:14:00.003+10:00

Alright, I really am showing off, but I'm just so thrilled with my (asked for) birthday present from Mum and Dad which mixed these beautiful scones today.

It's the Breville equivalent of a mixmaster. Before I got it out of its box, my little boy pointed at it and said, "What is it a?"

I said, "It's a mixmaster."

He said, "No, it's a Whizz Power Mixer!" He was right. And, yes, he can read more than I thought he could.

Anyway, by some cosmic accident on the very day I wanted to test out my new Whizz Power Mixer, I happened to have in the fridge both lemonade and cream - the secret ingredients for perfect scones.

Try this: in a Breville Whizz Power Mixer with dough hooks, mix together on a low speed 1 cup lemonade, 1 cup cream, 1 egg and 3 cups SR flour. Roll out, cut out and bake in a hot oven (200C) for 20 minutes or until golden on top.

As for once in my life I didn't burn what I put into the oven, I gave some to the neighbours and their assessment was 'delicious'.

Birthday

2008-08-03T07:00:00.003+10:00

Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. I ended up having a four-day celebration!

On Wednesday we went to see Cirque du Soleil's show Dralion. It was my present from Andrew and it was a truly fantastic show.

Thursday was the birthday itself and I had a lovely breakfast in bed from my daughter (with help from daddy) plus hugs and smiles all day.

Friday we held a party for local friends and enjoyed soup, buns and cake followed by a prayer night for my little boy. (Check my other blog for more details.)

Then Saturday we were able to go up to Sydney for a great Indian dinner with some of the extended family. Fun!

Oh, and I put my 86 year old Poppa on Facebook so he can keep in touch with his grandchildren!

Favourites - thanks AP

2008-08-01T15:14:00.002+10:00

1. My favourite TV shows:
Big Love, Flight of the Conchords

2. My favourite breakfast cereal:
muesli with lots of fruit and nuts

3. My favourite gadget:
The computer. Does that count?

4. My favourite book:
Too many to name. Right now: the Teenage Liberation Handbook.

5. My favourite writing implement:
A fountain pen. Not that I have one.

6. My favourite means of transportation:
roller skates

7. My favourite website:
Probably my own blog. That's egotistical isn't it!

8. My favourite musical artist:
Eric Clapton

9. My favourite pair of shoes:
The brown suede super-heels that my friend Kerri-Ann bought at a garage sale. Thankfully they ended up being too small for her and I got them!

10. My favourite beverage:
half-juice, half-water

11. My favourite meal:
chicken kurai from the 'Cockroach' in Murree or a traditional roast lamb

12. My favourite person at the moment:
All the people who remembered my birthday. makes me realise how bad I am at doing the same for them!

13. My favourite view:
driving down the hill to see Wollongong, or anywhere in the Highlands. Or - absolutely unbeatable - is the view of Lake Saiful Maluk in Kaghan Valley Pakistan. Actually, add to that a bridge across the river in Prague... beautiful.

14. My favourite sport:
roller skating.

15. My favourite word:
yes

The beautiful photo...

2008-07-29T21:47:00.001+10:00

...yes, is the view down the road to the lake near our place. Taken in Autumn. Isn't it gorgeous?

Candles

2008-07-29T21:41:00.001+10:00

We got out some candles and wine glasses for our wedding anniversary earlier this month and the children loved it! They stayed at the table longer and we really had a fun mealtime. We've pulled them out a few more times since. It's a great incentive for the reluctant middle child to come to dinner and actually eat and we all have fun blowing them out afterwards.

Sausage rolls

2008-07-26T17:27:00.002+10:00

This is to give the impression that I'm a better cook than I really am. I made an effort and pulled out the festering packet of puff pastry and the pork mince that was nearly going off in the freezer. They turned out pretty well thanks to Donna Hay's recipe. Too bad I don't like pork!

Moving III - being new means giving up your past

2008-07-24T07:53:00.002+10:00

Starting as a 'newie' is easier when you join something where everyone else is also new. It might be uni, college, or being in the new cast of a play in a drama group. Everyone else is in the same boat, and it’s like a bit of a fresh start.

But where people already have history together, you have to accept that you are the one who will have to fit in with them. How is this possible? I think through humility, by having a ‘learner’ attitude and to a certain extent, giving up your past and its importance in your life.

Michelle and her husband moved to the city so that he could train in ministry. They moved away from all their friends and family and Michelle particularly felt the loss of her best friends. She tried to keep up with them as much as possible by phone and by making the hour-long trip home whenever she could. She put in a lot of effort to keep their friendships going.

However she began to notice a distance in her relationship with her friend. They would hold a party and not invite Michelle and her husband. They asked other people to be godparents to their new babies. Michelle felt sad and rejected. She put a lot of energy into a long-distance relationship but could see it falling apart despite her best efforts.

Michelle began to spend more time with the people around her to meet her needs for friendship and relationships. Over time she realized that her original friendships would have to be given up to a certain extent, and new friendships embraced if she was going to stay happy and connected to the present life.

Michele discovered that to survive the future, you’ve got to give up your past in many ways, and start living in the present as much as possible.

This is where saying goodbye effectively comes in. If we have not said goodbye, and we are still living in the past, things going to be much harder.

Of course living in the present is not easy. It can make you feel core-less, root-less and like a pretender, while you go through time, building history and internalising it with others. But the bad feelings don't last, especially if you can understand the reasons why you feel that way.

Don’t just suppress your past. Allow your past to be grieved. Enjoy it with some others as often as you can but don’t continue to live there. You need to say goodbye to the old so you have room for the new. If you’re trying to hold on to the old tightly with both hands, you’ll stay there. You can’t grow into the future.

Do all your experiences have to go out the window? Do you ever get to talk about what you’ve experienced? Yes, sometimes, but not all the time.

People here and now resent always being compared to the former situation.
When we go on about our previous experiences, it can give the impression that the person we’re talking to is not important.

I met an American exchange student at University who was really nice, and I wanted to get to know her but she had the habit of talking about “All my really good friends back home in Virginia.” In the end it was irritating. I thought, "well – if you like them so much, go back to them.”

Settling in well depends on you doing your part and the people around you being friendly. Sometimes this works really well. James joined a church at the beginning of the year and by March he seemed like part of the furniture. He had a naturally friendly personality, he went to everything and he was lucky enough to come into a group which welcomed and wanted him.

Sometimes this just will not happen. Kerry and her husband joined a new church and looked for a Bible study group. They were put in a group with other young couples like themselves but everyone in the group had been friends together for at least 10 years. While they were polite, they were not interested in being close. After persisting for several years, Kerry and her husband found a new group.

Sometimes it's impossible to try to penetrate a group of close friends. It's better to give them up and look around for other people who are feeling on the edge like yourself. There is always someone else who is looking for a friend.

Finished

2008-07-22T20:40:00.002+10:00

I finally finished a quilt/comforter I started more than two years ago for my daughter! My shoulder is not up to quilting, so I just tied it and used the machine to put the binding on. It's made out of of old table clothes, serviettes and scrappy bits. I love being frugal!