At my birthday dinner with family the other night, my Nanna asked me to name the one thing in my (now) 33 years that was the most exciting.
Gee, Nan, could you think of an easier question?
There are numerous things I could say: growing up in Pakistan, boarding school, some very hairy family holidays on glaciers and mountain roads, going to uni, travelling around Europe, getting married, staying married, having three babies...
However, the one thing that continues to be the most exciting thing in my life is without a doubt my relationship with Jesus Christ. It is a relationship that I believe began before I was born, but which I understood with clarity first at the age of 6.
I was converted during family devotions while we were on holidays at the Blue Lagoon Caravan Park in Bateau Bay. All of a sudden it became crystal clear: I sinned! Jesus died for me! He forgives me!
The implications of that truth have sustained, refreshed, convicted, saved and changed me over 27 years now.
Every year on my birthday I write two lists. One is things I have learned or achieved over the past year. The other is things I want to learn or achieve in the year to come.
Featuring large in the first list are the many things God has taught me or reminded me of over 12 months. It's amazing how much God graciously shows to me every year. And at the top of the second list are the ways I want to continue to be changed and shaped by him, and a prayer to understand him more.
This year, I want to learn more about how to love people: what effective Christ-like love is: how it looks: what it feels like: what it costs: what it gives back. If you're the praying type and you want to add me to your list pray along those lines!
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Running a MOPS group
Raising preschoolers offer a unique combination of pure fulfilment and utter frustration. In this high stress period, mothers often feel inadequate, isolated, lonely and exhausted.
This is where MOPS comes in. ‘Mothers of Preschoolers’ is a church-based program designed for mothers with babies and children under school age. MOPS recognises that mothers have distinct needs, and they themselves need to be nurtured.
MOPS is different from playgroup
- Playgroups are built around the needs of the child. MOPS is built around the needs of the mother. Children go to their own program – MOPPETS.
-Mothers get to engage in a creative activity giving them a sense of achievement. They listen to a talk and discuss it. They are able to share with mentors in the group. They also enjoy a really scrumptious morning tea.
-By the time they pick up their children, mums feel refreshed and better able to meet the needs of their families.
MOPS possibilities
- If there’s a preschool attached to the church, MOPS is a perfect opportunity to engage with parents.
- The structured talk gets the ears of women who wouldn’t necessarily listen to something at playgroup. You can bring a Christian perspective to any topic – beauty, hospitality, discipline, sex, whatever. Easter and Christmas are opportunities to share the Christian faith in a personal way.
- MOPS offers church women a chance to develop their leadership skills and other talents.
What do you need to run a MOPS group?
Prayer – and lots of it. A team of preschooler mums. A team of supportive church folk who see the outreach opportunities and will help with MOPPETS. A supportive minister. Energy, creativity and hard work, but the opportunity to see great results.
What do churches say?
MOPS is one of the most exciting initiatives in contemporary ministry and outreach that our church has experienced in the last decade. We have realised significant benefits in the life of our church over the past six years. They include: new opportunities for ministry for established congregation; an exceptionally relevant program of ministry; relational evangelism can be effectively implemented; and a natural point of connection between the church and the community. Being a church with a vision to reach and build the lives of families, MOPS has definitely been a significant part of fulfilling that aim. Pastor, Ballarat
Check out www.mops.org.au and ask the Lord if MOPS is right for your church at this time to reach out into the community!
Some tenuous connections
In this blog entry, I will try to connect these ideas: salespeople, leaders and status.
Scenario 1:
A few weeks ago, we were in a furniture shop, looking at a large table. We were very interested in it. We liked it. We were sitting at it. We kept coming back to it. And then the young sales assistant came in our direction. He didn't say anything to us, but we got his attention and asked him some questions about the table, the chairs, the price, the availability and anything else we could think of. He answered each question with vague, short answers. He offered no additional information. His body language was closed, and he couldn't see, or didn't care that we were interested in the table, and would have bought it if we had had some encouragement. We were looking to him for answers and he missed out on a dead cert sale.
Scenario 2: (I have my husband's permission for this story!)
My husband is a final year student at his college. All the students living in our college community car pool in and back every day. Hubby was driving his car one day, and was asked at lunch by another student if he had room to take him home. Hubby is not in charge of the car roster and he is not always the most clear on who is in his car (he figures if they are late, they miss out, but he'll take whoever turns up on time) so he said, "Oh, I don't know. Sorry." The other student said words to the effect of "You're a bit vague and not much help."
Scenario 3:
In a few months time, I will be a 'minister's wife'. It's an odd position, because it is not a 'position' in the official sense that I am accountable to anyone, or get paid for anyone, yet it is a position in an unofficial sense that I will have a certain status and a certain leadership role. People will look to me to answer some questions and do some things. I will be treated by some with a respect that shows I have a leadership position, even though I do not officially have it.
Right. Now to connect the dots.
Leadership can be like sales. If the young sales guy had shown a bit of interest and initiative, befitting his official position, he would have succeeded.
Even if you don't have an official position, like my husband, who was not in charge of the car roster, people will often look to you for leadership and help. If you do not have the answers, or if you don't want the job of being in charge, instead of abdicating the leadership, you can treat it like sales and use initiative and energy in helping the person to solve their problem. ("Hmm, I don't know because I never take notice of these things. But you could ask X, who's in charge of it, or if you want to turn up at leaving time, if there's a spot I'll take you.")
Next year people will treat me as a leader just because I'm married to a leader in the church. So instead of denying it or trying to run away from it, I could pull out my salesperson brain, accept the status afforded me and use initiative and energy in helping people solve their problems.
If that's all too convoluted, move on to the next blog.
Scenario 1:
A few weeks ago, we were in a furniture shop, looking at a large table. We were very interested in it. We liked it. We were sitting at it. We kept coming back to it. And then the young sales assistant came in our direction. He didn't say anything to us, but we got his attention and asked him some questions about the table, the chairs, the price, the availability and anything else we could think of. He answered each question with vague, short answers. He offered no additional information. His body language was closed, and he couldn't see, or didn't care that we were interested in the table, and would have bought it if we had had some encouragement. We were looking to him for answers and he missed out on a dead cert sale.
Scenario 2: (I have my husband's permission for this story!)
My husband is a final year student at his college. All the students living in our college community car pool in and back every day. Hubby was driving his car one day, and was asked at lunch by another student if he had room to take him home. Hubby is not in charge of the car roster and he is not always the most clear on who is in his car (he figures if they are late, they miss out, but he'll take whoever turns up on time) so he said, "Oh, I don't know. Sorry." The other student said words to the effect of "You're a bit vague and not much help."
Scenario 3:
In a few months time, I will be a 'minister's wife'. It's an odd position, because it is not a 'position' in the official sense that I am accountable to anyone, or get paid for anyone, yet it is a position in an unofficial sense that I will have a certain status and a certain leadership role. People will look to me to answer some questions and do some things. I will be treated by some with a respect that shows I have a leadership position, even though I do not officially have it.
Right. Now to connect the dots.
Leadership can be like sales. If the young sales guy had shown a bit of interest and initiative, befitting his official position, he would have succeeded.
Even if you don't have an official position, like my husband, who was not in charge of the car roster, people will often look to you for leadership and help. If you do not have the answers, or if you don't want the job of being in charge, instead of abdicating the leadership, you can treat it like sales and use initiative and energy in helping the person to solve their problem. ("Hmm, I don't know because I never take notice of these things. But you could ask X, who's in charge of it, or if you want to turn up at leaving time, if there's a spot I'll take you.")
Next year people will treat me as a leader just because I'm married to a leader in the church. So instead of denying it or trying to run away from it, I could pull out my salesperson brain, accept the status afforded me and use initiative and energy in helping people solve their problems.
If that's all too convoluted, move on to the next blog.
My dad
I wrote about my mother a few weeks ago. She's quite a remarkable lady, who happens to be married to quite a remarkable man.
My dad is a bit of an adventurer. He has travelled on mountain roads in Pakistan which local jeep drivers avoided, and he always wants to go over 'just one more sandhill'.
My dad takes the 'eighty-year perspective' on life. He figures you only live for eighty years - a tiny speck in light of the eternity to come - so you might as well make your eighty count for Christ. If that means taking the challenging route, so be it. If it means giving up worldly things and security, that's great.
My dad always sees the potential. He thinks large and dreams well. At times, it's completely impractical (a home built out of a huge water pipe, embedded in the ground so that it will be cool in the heat, a 'sports tractor' with a trailer for transporting people around the desert... don't ask!!) but it means that the people around him are always being stretched and expanded in creative ways.
My dad has been a tremendous encouragment for me. Rather than limit me, he's always pushed me to think bigger, dream wider and live closer to the edge. Also, he's proven to me that God does change people. From being a young man with a hot temper, he's been transformed into a patient, caring old(er) man.
I think he's pretty cool.
My dad is a bit of an adventurer. He has travelled on mountain roads in Pakistan which local jeep drivers avoided, and he always wants to go over 'just one more sandhill'.
My dad takes the 'eighty-year perspective' on life. He figures you only live for eighty years - a tiny speck in light of the eternity to come - so you might as well make your eighty count for Christ. If that means taking the challenging route, so be it. If it means giving up worldly things and security, that's great.
My dad always sees the potential. He thinks large and dreams well. At times, it's completely impractical (a home built out of a huge water pipe, embedded in the ground so that it will be cool in the heat, a 'sports tractor' with a trailer for transporting people around the desert... don't ask!!) but it means that the people around him are always being stretched and expanded in creative ways.
My dad has been a tremendous encouragment for me. Rather than limit me, he's always pushed me to think bigger, dream wider and live closer to the edge. Also, he's proven to me that God does change people. From being a young man with a hot temper, he's been transformed into a patient, caring old(er) man.
I think he's pretty cool.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
What makes it funny?
There's a new movie out that we'd like to see. Here's the basic plot.
A couple start going out. One decides to break up. The other one is upset, as well as being a lot physically stronger, and decides to make the ex's life completely miserable, with destruction of property, death threats and emotional manipulation.
Here's the thing though: it's not a thriller, it's a comedy.
The movie is based on the idea of a mild-mannered guy falling for a sweet-looking girl who is actually a super-hero, albeit fairly flawed. When he decides to call the relationship off, she won't let him go. The slogan for 'My super ex-girlfriend' is: he broke her heart, she broke his everything. Sounds hilarious, right?
But I've been puzzling about why it's a funny idea. All over the world relationships break up in these circumstances, and we consider it to be tragic. It's certainly not amusing to see people take out restraining orders against manipulating, controlling violent former partners. It's not a laughing matter that most murders are committed in a domestic situation.
The only thing I can come up with is that in this movie, the one who is doing the threatening and violence is a woman. The idea wouldn't work as a funny movie if it was a male superhero threatening a human girlfriend. Is seeing women with power intrinsically amusing?
How does something become funny? I think it must be by turning the situation around. Many more men dominate and control women than the other way. When a woman is able to hold physical power over a man, it's the plot of a Hollywood comedy.
I'm still at a bit of a loss as to the implications of this. I'll have to see the film and see how the characters are treated. My guess is that the superhero girlfriend will be characterised as slightly ridiculous. If the movie was the other way around and the superhero was a male, I think he would be portrayed as menacing and evil.
In the meantime, I'm going to start analysing things I find funny and try to work out what humour is made of.
A couple start going out. One decides to break up. The other one is upset, as well as being a lot physically stronger, and decides to make the ex's life completely miserable, with destruction of property, death threats and emotional manipulation.
Here's the thing though: it's not a thriller, it's a comedy.
The movie is based on the idea of a mild-mannered guy falling for a sweet-looking girl who is actually a super-hero, albeit fairly flawed. When he decides to call the relationship off, she won't let him go. The slogan for 'My super ex-girlfriend' is: he broke her heart, she broke his everything. Sounds hilarious, right?
But I've been puzzling about why it's a funny idea. All over the world relationships break up in these circumstances, and we consider it to be tragic. It's certainly not amusing to see people take out restraining orders against manipulating, controlling violent former partners. It's not a laughing matter that most murders are committed in a domestic situation.
The only thing I can come up with is that in this movie, the one who is doing the threatening and violence is a woman. The idea wouldn't work as a funny movie if it was a male superhero threatening a human girlfriend. Is seeing women with power intrinsically amusing?
How does something become funny? I think it must be by turning the situation around. Many more men dominate and control women than the other way. When a woman is able to hold physical power over a man, it's the plot of a Hollywood comedy.
I'm still at a bit of a loss as to the implications of this. I'll have to see the film and see how the characters are treated. My guess is that the superhero girlfriend will be characterised as slightly ridiculous. If the movie was the other way around and the superhero was a male, I think he would be portrayed as menacing and evil.
In the meantime, I'm going to start analysing things I find funny and try to work out what humour is made of.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Young mums
I'm about to give a talk about how to run a MOPS group at your church. MOPS stands for Mothers of Preschoolers. Check out www.mops.org.au for more information. Read below for the reason someone might need to go to a MOPS group.
Let’s describe a mother of young children under school age.
She’s tired.
She carries a lot. If she’s organised, she’ll have a full baby bag with all the nappies and wipes and disposal bags she needs, the bottles, the nicely packed snacks, the second and third outfits for the baby. The second and third outfits for the toddler. The second and third outfits for herself. If she’s not organised, she’ll have one nappy, a bottle without a lid, a piece of bread for the older kid and she’ll have a distinct smell of sour milk on her left shoulder.
She’s late. Because she had to pack the baby bag. Oh yes, and pack the baby and the toddlers.
She’s tired.
She has a distinct look in her eye that says ‘latte envy’. It comes from a diet high in foods like fish fingers, beans on toast, eggs on toast, vegemite on toast, spaghetti bolognaise and, heaven forbid, McDonalds. Even if she has time to shop, she has no time to cook, and the kids won’t like it anyway.
She’s out of her regular clothes (just a few kilos each baby) and hasn’t had time to go shopping for more – or doesn’t have any money to go shopping for more. And she hasn’t had her hair done for months.
She’s tired.
She adores her children. Especially when they are asleep. But she worries about them a lot. And worries about herself – if she’s doing a good enough job. And feels terribly inadequate next to the woman down the street who has eight children, all dressed in beautiful home-made outfits that look like designer wear, all of whom are perfectly behaved and who never ever throw tantrums in the shopping centre, and who all eat all their organic vegetables, sit nicely at the table and say please and thank you.
She wonders why that mum never seems tired.
She can’t help the nagging feeling that she’s somehow lost her identity or at least her social importance now that she’s at home with the baby. Everyone says mothering is important, but it doesn’t always feel like it. And she feels worse when she hasn’t slept because the baby has been up again. And her husband still assures her that she is important and still is sexy, but…
She’s tired.
She was really looking forward to being at home full time – there would be lots of time to do all those projects she really wanted to do… except she can’t get more than half an hour to herself without being interrupted, and the baby keeps eating the scrapbooking paper, and she’s just really really tired.
The needs of a mother with young children have been identified by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall in their book, What Every Mum Needs:
1. The need for significance:
Sometimes I wonder if mothering matters.
2. The need for identity:
Sometimes I'm not sure who I am.
3. The need for growth:
Sometimes I long to develop who I am.
4. The need for intimacy:
Sometimes I long to be understood.
5. The need for instruction:
Sometimes I don't know what to do.
6. The need for help:
Sometimes I need to share the load.
7. The need for recreation:
Sometimes I need a break.
8. The need for perspective:
Sometimes I lose my focus.
9. The need for hope:
Sometimes I wonder if there's more to life.
Let’s describe a mother of young children under school age.
She’s tired.
She carries a lot. If she’s organised, she’ll have a full baby bag with all the nappies and wipes and disposal bags she needs, the bottles, the nicely packed snacks, the second and third outfits for the baby. The second and third outfits for the toddler. The second and third outfits for herself. If she’s not organised, she’ll have one nappy, a bottle without a lid, a piece of bread for the older kid and she’ll have a distinct smell of sour milk on her left shoulder.
She’s late. Because she had to pack the baby bag. Oh yes, and pack the baby and the toddlers.
She’s tired.
She has a distinct look in her eye that says ‘latte envy’. It comes from a diet high in foods like fish fingers, beans on toast, eggs on toast, vegemite on toast, spaghetti bolognaise and, heaven forbid, McDonalds. Even if she has time to shop, she has no time to cook, and the kids won’t like it anyway.
She’s out of her regular clothes (just a few kilos each baby) and hasn’t had time to go shopping for more – or doesn’t have any money to go shopping for more. And she hasn’t had her hair done for months.
She’s tired.
She adores her children. Especially when they are asleep. But she worries about them a lot. And worries about herself – if she’s doing a good enough job. And feels terribly inadequate next to the woman down the street who has eight children, all dressed in beautiful home-made outfits that look like designer wear, all of whom are perfectly behaved and who never ever throw tantrums in the shopping centre, and who all eat all their organic vegetables, sit nicely at the table and say please and thank you.
She wonders why that mum never seems tired.
She can’t help the nagging feeling that she’s somehow lost her identity or at least her social importance now that she’s at home with the baby. Everyone says mothering is important, but it doesn’t always feel like it. And she feels worse when she hasn’t slept because the baby has been up again. And her husband still assures her that she is important and still is sexy, but…
She’s tired.
She was really looking forward to being at home full time – there would be lots of time to do all those projects she really wanted to do… except she can’t get more than half an hour to herself without being interrupted, and the baby keeps eating the scrapbooking paper, and she’s just really really tired.
The needs of a mother with young children have been identified by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall in their book, What Every Mum Needs:
1. The need for significance:
Sometimes I wonder if mothering matters.
2. The need for identity:
Sometimes I'm not sure who I am.
3. The need for growth:
Sometimes I long to develop who I am.
4. The need for intimacy:
Sometimes I long to be understood.
5. The need for instruction:
Sometimes I don't know what to do.
6. The need for help:
Sometimes I need to share the load.
7. The need for recreation:
Sometimes I need a break.
8. The need for perspective:
Sometimes I lose my focus.
9. The need for hope:
Sometimes I wonder if there's more to life.
Eavesdropping only from now on
Friends, I was spammed!
After asking for comments from readers, I was treated to 62 (yes, sixty two) useless comments from an anonymous source, one on each blog entry. Then today, another 40, with pathetic links to a useless gambling site. Only one nice comment from a friendly reader who pleaded to remain an eavesdropper.
From now on this blog is for eavesdropping only. No more comments folks. You know how to get in touch if you want to.
And just a word to you people out there who are trying to sign up suckers to gambling and porn sites to get their money: God brings justice in the end. You might think what you're doing is an easy way to rip people off. But it's not honest, it's not truthful, it's not loving and it's not right. It's also not what God likes, and you're up for judgment. Think about your life now, before it's too late. The incredible thing is that even though God will bring judgment, he also offers mercy. You can accept Jesus' offer of forgiveness today and turn your life around with his help. Or you can get rich now by using people and reap the consequences in eternity. Check out www.christianity.net.au for real help.
Grace, and peace to each and all of you.
After asking for comments from readers, I was treated to 62 (yes, sixty two) useless comments from an anonymous source, one on each blog entry. Then today, another 40, with pathetic links to a useless gambling site. Only one nice comment from a friendly reader who pleaded to remain an eavesdropper.
From now on this blog is for eavesdropping only. No more comments folks. You know how to get in touch if you want to.
And just a word to you people out there who are trying to sign up suckers to gambling and porn sites to get their money: God brings justice in the end. You might think what you're doing is an easy way to rip people off. But it's not honest, it's not truthful, it's not loving and it's not right. It's also not what God likes, and you're up for judgment. Think about your life now, before it's too late. The incredible thing is that even though God will bring judgment, he also offers mercy. You can accept Jesus' offer of forgiveness today and turn your life around with his help. Or you can get rich now by using people and reap the consequences in eternity. Check out www.christianity.net.au for real help.
Grace, and peace to each and all of you.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
I hate mass advertising
Does anyone else get information overload just from driving around in the city? There are so many billboards and ads in every available space.
Sometimes I just need to sit looking down at my hands because I can't cope with the amount of information that is blasting around out there. It's visual assault. Not to mention that most of it is ugly! There's no peace for eyes or ears in our society.
I should go on the 'Grumpy old women' show!
Sometimes I just need to sit looking down at my hands because I can't cope with the amount of information that is blasting around out there. It's visual assault. Not to mention that most of it is ugly! There's no peace for eyes or ears in our society.
I should go on the 'Grumpy old women' show!
Monday, July 17, 2006
Passing on
My great-uncle died yesterday.
Uncle Alan was a quiet, steady, shining sort of person whose deep faith in Jesus Christ defined him and everything he did. Whenever you asked him, "How are you Alan?" his answer was always, "Looking up!" And he was - looking up to Christ.
He died from a difficult illness which made it hard for him to breathe, but even in his last hours he continued to literally move his eyes upwards - looking up to the Saviour he expected to meet at any moment.
We'll meet again in heaven.
Uncle Alan was a quiet, steady, shining sort of person whose deep faith in Jesus Christ defined him and everything he did. Whenever you asked him, "How are you Alan?" his answer was always, "Looking up!" And he was - looking up to Christ.
He died from a difficult illness which made it hard for him to breathe, but even in his last hours he continued to literally move his eyes upwards - looking up to the Saviour he expected to meet at any moment.
We'll meet again in heaven.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Not really a balanced universe: III
I got a lot out of this book on the 80/20 principle. Can you tell?
We just got back from a week on the beautiful Sunshine Coast in sunny Queensland. Yes, it's my new favourite place in the world. We did a lot of nothing, including lazing around in the heated pool, but the main big exciting adventure for the children was 'Australia Zoo'. This is the home of all-around-Aussie-adventurer, Steve Irwin, aka the Crocodile Hunter, and it was a brilliant example of using the 80/20 principle in business.
Steve Irwin knows exactly what makes him popular: his 'Aussie-ness', the crocodiles and his ridiculously over the top enthusiasm. Obviously, there's a lot more to the man (You'd want to hope so at any rate.) But he knows that this 20 per cent of what he does gets 80 per cent of the results. Using his trademarks gets people visiting the zoo, thus raising money for himself and his business, but also for forwarding his pet conservation projects.
Everything, and I mean everything, at this zoo is about Steve Irwin. The signs use his trade mark phrases 'crikey' and 'have a ripper of a day'. All his staff dress in his uniform and the show presenters speak in his Aussie accent. But he also knows what people want in a zoo: the exciting animals and the Aussie animals, the up-close-and-personal encounters with koalas and wombats, interesting shows and then, for the littlies, a jumping castle with - wait for it - blow up crocodiles on the side.
There's not a sight or a sign at Australia Zoo that is not using the 20 per cent to get the 80 per cent results. It's impressive, and even though I don't particularly like Steve Irwin (too ocker for me) I got sucked in by the brand, and actually got excited when we saw him drive by.
We just got back from a week on the beautiful Sunshine Coast in sunny Queensland. Yes, it's my new favourite place in the world. We did a lot of nothing, including lazing around in the heated pool, but the main big exciting adventure for the children was 'Australia Zoo'. This is the home of all-around-Aussie-adventurer, Steve Irwin, aka the Crocodile Hunter, and it was a brilliant example of using the 80/20 principle in business.
Steve Irwin knows exactly what makes him popular: his 'Aussie-ness', the crocodiles and his ridiculously over the top enthusiasm. Obviously, there's a lot more to the man (You'd want to hope so at any rate.) But he knows that this 20 per cent of what he does gets 80 per cent of the results. Using his trademarks gets people visiting the zoo, thus raising money for himself and his business, but also for forwarding his pet conservation projects.
Everything, and I mean everything, at this zoo is about Steve Irwin. The signs use his trade mark phrases 'crikey' and 'have a ripper of a day'. All his staff dress in his uniform and the show presenters speak in his Aussie accent. But he also knows what people want in a zoo: the exciting animals and the Aussie animals, the up-close-and-personal encounters with koalas and wombats, interesting shows and then, for the littlies, a jumping castle with - wait for it - blow up crocodiles on the side.
There's not a sight or a sign at Australia Zoo that is not using the 20 per cent to get the 80 per cent results. It's impressive, and even though I don't particularly like Steve Irwin (too ocker for me) I got sucked in by the brand, and actually got excited when we saw him drive by.
Not really a balanced universe: II
The first way to use the 80/20 principle (check out Not really a balanced universe: I below) is to focus on the 20 per cent of things you do that have the greatest results.
The second way to use it is to get rid of the 80 per cent of things you do that lead to only 20 per cent of results.
For example, in my easipants business I make most of my sales with tummi tubes and small sized nappies. Some repeat business comes from big nappies, but only a tiny percentage of total sales comes from white nappy covers. The tummi tubes seem to sell themselves, so in the future I will focus on them, but I will not get any more white covers in once the current lot are sold.
The general idea is to simplify. If it doesn't contribute in a big way, is it worth having around? It's quite a challenging thought.
A really trivial application of it is in my wardrobe. There are a whole lot of clothes that I quite like, or I have some emotional attachment to, or I think I might wear one day, if the situation was right. But honestly, I haven't worn them in three years. Who am I kidding? And why am I keeping them? What would it cost me to get rid of them? Why can't I, or why won't I just put them in a bag and send them to the Salvos?
My parents are great examples of simplifiers. It always annoyed me as a teenager that Dad would say, "Oh, you've got a new top? Great! Which one are you now going to get rid of?" He lived his life with about three pairs of undies, three shirts and two pairs of shoes. (Obviously, there were some other things in his wardrobe as well, but it would take too long to itemise them all. You get the idea.) And my mum was always fabulous at cleaning out when we moved. "Do you want this? No? Right. Out it goes!"
Perhaps there are ways I can simplify other areas of life by using the 80/20 principle - not just getting rid of physical stuff, but perhaps old habits, unuseful prejudices or patterns of thought that don't help in my major goal of becoming more like Christ. What are the things that give the greatest results in me growing closer to God? Do more of them. What are the things that give the least results and take my energy away from the goal? Get rid of them.
There must be ways that churches can be more effective by using this principle. I've always found it interesting to look at Acts 2:42. It tells about the life of the very new, very early church after Pentecost.
All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord's Supper), and to prayer.
These must have been the things that led to the greatest 'results' in the newly formed body of believers. All the extras that got tacked on over time, and including in our own churches... are they part of the 20 per cent or the 80 per cent? Do we just need to be brave and get rid of some things we do so we can more effectively focus on the most useful?
The second way to use it is to get rid of the 80 per cent of things you do that lead to only 20 per cent of results.
For example, in my easipants business I make most of my sales with tummi tubes and small sized nappies. Some repeat business comes from big nappies, but only a tiny percentage of total sales comes from white nappy covers. The tummi tubes seem to sell themselves, so in the future I will focus on them, but I will not get any more white covers in once the current lot are sold.
The general idea is to simplify. If it doesn't contribute in a big way, is it worth having around? It's quite a challenging thought.
A really trivial application of it is in my wardrobe. There are a whole lot of clothes that I quite like, or I have some emotional attachment to, or I think I might wear one day, if the situation was right. But honestly, I haven't worn them in three years. Who am I kidding? And why am I keeping them? What would it cost me to get rid of them? Why can't I, or why won't I just put them in a bag and send them to the Salvos?
My parents are great examples of simplifiers. It always annoyed me as a teenager that Dad would say, "Oh, you've got a new top? Great! Which one are you now going to get rid of?" He lived his life with about three pairs of undies, three shirts and two pairs of shoes. (Obviously, there were some other things in his wardrobe as well, but it would take too long to itemise them all. You get the idea.) And my mum was always fabulous at cleaning out when we moved. "Do you want this? No? Right. Out it goes!"
Perhaps there are ways I can simplify other areas of life by using the 80/20 principle - not just getting rid of physical stuff, but perhaps old habits, unuseful prejudices or patterns of thought that don't help in my major goal of becoming more like Christ. What are the things that give the greatest results in me growing closer to God? Do more of them. What are the things that give the least results and take my energy away from the goal? Get rid of them.
There must be ways that churches can be more effective by using this principle. I've always found it interesting to look at Acts 2:42. It tells about the life of the very new, very early church after Pentecost.
All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord's Supper), and to prayer.
These must have been the things that led to the greatest 'results' in the newly formed body of believers. All the extras that got tacked on over time, and including in our own churches... are they part of the 20 per cent or the 80 per cent? Do we just need to be brave and get rid of some things we do so we can more effectively focus on the most useful?
Not really a balanced universe: I
You would like to hope that the effort you put into something would reap equivalent results. For example, if I put 50 per cent more effort into cleaning up my house, I should get 50 per cent more shine. Or, conversely, if I did half as much work, it would look only half as good.
Common sense, right? But a book I've been reading says no. Richard Koch's The 80/20 principle argues that in almost every area of life, results are not directly related to effort. He says that 80 per cent of results flow from just 20 per cent of the causes.
This '80/20 principle' was first discovered by an Italian economist, who studied wealth patterns, finding that whatever the time period or the country, the pattern of imbalance became predictable. Roughly 80 per cent of the money went to 20 per cent of the people.
In research done by others, generally 20 per cent of products account for 80 per cent of sales, 20 per cent of motorists cause 80 per cent of the accidents, 20 per cent of the carpet in your house wears out, and 20 per cent of your clothes are worn 80 per cent of the time.
I've heard it said that in churches that 20 per cent of the people do 80 per cent of the work. In my own, limited, experience I'd say that it is anecdotally true.
So what does that mean for me? In terms of house cleaning, perhaps I need to focus on the 20 per cent of the work that gives the best-looking results. It's true that no matter if the toys are all put away, having a dirty floor still makes it all look grotty. And vacuuming takes me 15 minutes once a week compared to at least 45 minutes daily (accumulated) of picking up toys.
In other areas of life I know that I get the best results from things I enjoy doing. I write a better blog than I do a tax return (and if you think my blog is rubbish, you ought to see my tax return.) So perhaps I'd be better to focus on the things I do well and outsource the rest. Hmm, there goes cooking the dinner...
This principle could have interesting ramifications in church.
What gives the greatest results in the life of the congregation? Everyone always says prayer! But instead of trying to get the whole church to prayer meetings (and let's face it, everyone never comes and those who does come always get discouraged by the lack of everyone else), why not hand-pick the 20 per cent best praying people in the church for regular gatherings. The prayers will be enthusiastic, the discouragement will disappear, and the entire church will reap the results.
Common sense, right? But a book I've been reading says no. Richard Koch's The 80/20 principle argues that in almost every area of life, results are not directly related to effort. He says that 80 per cent of results flow from just 20 per cent of the causes.
This '80/20 principle' was first discovered by an Italian economist, who studied wealth patterns, finding that whatever the time period or the country, the pattern of imbalance became predictable. Roughly 80 per cent of the money went to 20 per cent of the people.
In research done by others, generally 20 per cent of products account for 80 per cent of sales, 20 per cent of motorists cause 80 per cent of the accidents, 20 per cent of the carpet in your house wears out, and 20 per cent of your clothes are worn 80 per cent of the time.
I've heard it said that in churches that 20 per cent of the people do 80 per cent of the work. In my own, limited, experience I'd say that it is anecdotally true.
So what does that mean for me? In terms of house cleaning, perhaps I need to focus on the 20 per cent of the work that gives the best-looking results. It's true that no matter if the toys are all put away, having a dirty floor still makes it all look grotty. And vacuuming takes me 15 minutes once a week compared to at least 45 minutes daily (accumulated) of picking up toys.
In other areas of life I know that I get the best results from things I enjoy doing. I write a better blog than I do a tax return (and if you think my blog is rubbish, you ought to see my tax return.) So perhaps I'd be better to focus on the things I do well and outsource the rest. Hmm, there goes cooking the dinner...
This principle could have interesting ramifications in church.
What gives the greatest results in the life of the congregation? Everyone always says prayer! But instead of trying to get the whole church to prayer meetings (and let's face it, everyone never comes and those who does come always get discouraged by the lack of everyone else), why not hand-pick the 20 per cent best praying people in the church for regular gatherings. The prayers will be enthusiastic, the discouragement will disappear, and the entire church will reap the results.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
school reunion
I had a very strange experience today.
I was going to a reunion of people from my old school in celebration of its 50th birthday. Murree Christian School is a unique international boarding school in the Himalayan mountains in Pakistan. I boarded there in the mid-1980s. (Check out www.mcs.org.pk)
I was looking forward to it very much, but as I drove up to the conference centre, I started to feel upset and teary. When I got there, I found I could hardly participate. It was hard to sing and to pray, and even to talk to people. Suddenly I had this great welling of emotional feelings which I couldn't define. I kept wanting to cry, and embarrassed myself in about six or seven different conversations with people I haven't seen for years.
It wasn't as if I only have memories of school that are negative. Yes, there are plenty of tears and hurts that come back, but I also have many wonderful recollections of fun times and friendships.
I think that MCS for me was a time of very intense emotions. The downs were extremely hard. The ups were almost over the top. In a hothouse, closeknit environment like boarding school, everything becomes magnified. So even now, about 17 years later, thinking about MCS brings back all that intensity of feeling. It's almost easier just to put the whole thing to one side and ignore it than feel all those strong griefs and joys again.
I left early because the baby was getting stroppy and the emotional energy was all too much for me. As I drove back down the mountain, the feelings started to subside. And when I walked back into our house and said hello to the family, I felt fine (although a little tired!).
Emotions and memories are extraordinary things.
I was going to a reunion of people from my old school in celebration of its 50th birthday. Murree Christian School is a unique international boarding school in the Himalayan mountains in Pakistan. I boarded there in the mid-1980s. (Check out www.mcs.org.pk)
I was looking forward to it very much, but as I drove up to the conference centre, I started to feel upset and teary. When I got there, I found I could hardly participate. It was hard to sing and to pray, and even to talk to people. Suddenly I had this great welling of emotional feelings which I couldn't define. I kept wanting to cry, and embarrassed myself in about six or seven different conversations with people I haven't seen for years.
It wasn't as if I only have memories of school that are negative. Yes, there are plenty of tears and hurts that come back, but I also have many wonderful recollections of fun times and friendships.
I think that MCS for me was a time of very intense emotions. The downs were extremely hard. The ups were almost over the top. In a hothouse, closeknit environment like boarding school, everything becomes magnified. So even now, about 17 years later, thinking about MCS brings back all that intensity of feeling. It's almost easier just to put the whole thing to one side and ignore it than feel all those strong griefs and joys again.
I left early because the baby was getting stroppy and the emotional energy was all too much for me. As I drove back down the mountain, the feelings started to subside. And when I walked back into our house and said hello to the family, I felt fine (although a little tired!).
Emotions and memories are extraordinary things.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
I really hate making big decisions. Recently we've had to choose between a couple of big options for our future, and it has been so hard.
Why do I hate it so much? A few reasons:
It's a lot easier to think "I've got so many options". When you make a decision, you have to go with one option only. The others are then closed! I always want to do everything.
What if we make the wrong decision? But the logic to that is there's hardly ever a wrong decision. You learn from everything. Just because something doesn't work out the way you envision it might doesn't mean it's the wrong decision.
I hate disappointing people. I would love to be everything to everybody and not see anyone disappointed. I guess that's God's job.
When you make a decision, it means things will change. I find it hard to change, and would usually always prefer the status quo! So it becomes easier not to make the decision.
The decisions are made now, with heaps of prayer and (I hope) us being open to God's leading. Now to get on with the future!
Why do I hate it so much? A few reasons:
It's a lot easier to think "I've got so many options". When you make a decision, you have to go with one option only. The others are then closed! I always want to do everything.
What if we make the wrong decision? But the logic to that is there's hardly ever a wrong decision. You learn from everything. Just because something doesn't work out the way you envision it might doesn't mean it's the wrong decision.
I hate disappointing people. I would love to be everything to everybody and not see anyone disappointed. I guess that's God's job.
When you make a decision, it means things will change. I find it hard to change, and would usually always prefer the status quo! So it becomes easier not to make the decision.
The decisions are made now, with heaps of prayer and (I hope) us being open to God's leading. Now to get on with the future!
Monday, July 03, 2006
Moses III
The final instalment to the tale of Moses’ call. Check out ‘Failure and Disappointment: Moses I’ and ‘Moses II’. So far we have seen that Moses’ life was one of failure and disappointment, BUT GOD… came to him, listened to him and then offered himself as a solution. **
Oddly enough, even though God listens to Moses’ pathetic excuses as to why he can’t go to Egypt and free the Israelites, he is not what we would think of as entirely sympathetic. He doesn’t pat him on the head and say, “oh poor Moses. Gee, you have had it tough! Alright, because you’ve already worked so hard for me, I’ll give you a break.”
If God did this, he would be agreeing with Moses when he said “I can’t do it, I’m not suited to the task, they won’t take you seriously.” But God doesn’t agree with those limitations. In fact, human limitations are nothing to God. They hold us back, but they don’t hold God back.
He actually does something better than sympathise. He says effectively, “you can do it because I’ll be doing it with you.” He offers details, proofs and strategies for how it’s going to work.
But the main thing is that he offers himself. He introduces himself: “I am who I am” and says: “I am going with you. I am going to do it for you.”
So Moses’ self-limitations are pointless.
He says ‘I can’t do it’. God says “I am going to do it”
He says ‘I don’t know enough”. God says, “I’ll tell you what you need to know.”
He says, “They won’t take me seriously.” God says, “They’ll take me seriously.”
He says, “I’m not suited to the task.” God says, “I’ll give you what skills and proofs you need.”
He says, “I just don’t want to do it.” God says, “I want you to, and I’ll do it with you.”
If you have had failures and disappointments and sins in the past, and if you are saying to God, “I can’t do it… I don’t know enough…. They won’t take me seriously… I’m not suited to the task…. I just don’t want to” then watch out!
God will confront you sometime. He knows your name, and he will introduce himself by name to you. He will allow you to speak your fears and your disappointments. He will offer himself to you as the solution. What solution is that?
First he will offer himself in the person of Jesus, who died for you, and who will forgive you if you accept it. Jesus’ death on the cross and resurrection deals with the most important problem of our lives – our rebellion against God and our sin against him. By trusting in Jesus, we are freed from our sin and become God’s friends. If you don’t really understand this, blog me!
But as if that wasn’t enough, God also will offer himself as your daily strength and energy, as your power and your source of life.
As well as that, he offers you a part in his plan for the world. Do you know what that plan is? I know! It’s to take the good news of Jesus to the entire world!
What’s your part? I don’t know. It might be simple. But it might also be something which you think you could never do! It will probably be exciting and not very safe. It will probably be something much grander than you could ever envision for yourself. It will be a part which uses both your gifts and your failures, but it will be a part which can only be undertaken if you accept the God’s gift of himself to you.
We all have to choose whether or not we will go ahead in God’s plan. Moses could have walked away. We could walk away too, but we’d be fools. Why live with those human limitations and self-doubts and beliefs cemented by a few failures and disappointments?
How much bigger and greater and grander to live, with God, despite those disappointments. How much cooler to get over that stuff, to accept both our gifts and failures and to draw on, lean on, nestle in God and his strength every single day, as we are part of God’s great plan of bringing people to himself.
** In case you're wondering, this blog is a shorter version of a talk I gave recently.
Oddly enough, even though God listens to Moses’ pathetic excuses as to why he can’t go to Egypt and free the Israelites, he is not what we would think of as entirely sympathetic. He doesn’t pat him on the head and say, “oh poor Moses. Gee, you have had it tough! Alright, because you’ve already worked so hard for me, I’ll give you a break.”
If God did this, he would be agreeing with Moses when he said “I can’t do it, I’m not suited to the task, they won’t take you seriously.” But God doesn’t agree with those limitations. In fact, human limitations are nothing to God. They hold us back, but they don’t hold God back.
He actually does something better than sympathise. He says effectively, “you can do it because I’ll be doing it with you.” He offers details, proofs and strategies for how it’s going to work.
But the main thing is that he offers himself. He introduces himself: “I am who I am” and says: “I am going with you. I am going to do it for you.”
So Moses’ self-limitations are pointless.
He says ‘I can’t do it’. God says “I am going to do it”
He says ‘I don’t know enough”. God says, “I’ll tell you what you need to know.”
He says, “They won’t take me seriously.” God says, “They’ll take me seriously.”
He says, “I’m not suited to the task.” God says, “I’ll give you what skills and proofs you need.”
He says, “I just don’t want to do it.” God says, “I want you to, and I’ll do it with you.”
If you have had failures and disappointments and sins in the past, and if you are saying to God, “I can’t do it… I don’t know enough…. They won’t take me seriously… I’m not suited to the task…. I just don’t want to” then watch out!
God will confront you sometime. He knows your name, and he will introduce himself by name to you. He will allow you to speak your fears and your disappointments. He will offer himself to you as the solution. What solution is that?
First he will offer himself in the person of Jesus, who died for you, and who will forgive you if you accept it. Jesus’ death on the cross and resurrection deals with the most important problem of our lives – our rebellion against God and our sin against him. By trusting in Jesus, we are freed from our sin and become God’s friends. If you don’t really understand this, blog me!
But as if that wasn’t enough, God also will offer himself as your daily strength and energy, as your power and your source of life.
As well as that, he offers you a part in his plan for the world. Do you know what that plan is? I know! It’s to take the good news of Jesus to the entire world!
What’s your part? I don’t know. It might be simple. But it might also be something which you think you could never do! It will probably be exciting and not very safe. It will probably be something much grander than you could ever envision for yourself. It will be a part which uses both your gifts and your failures, but it will be a part which can only be undertaken if you accept the God’s gift of himself to you.
We all have to choose whether or not we will go ahead in God’s plan. Moses could have walked away. We could walk away too, but we’d be fools. Why live with those human limitations and self-doubts and beliefs cemented by a few failures and disappointments?
How much bigger and greater and grander to live, with God, despite those disappointments. How much cooler to get over that stuff, to accept both our gifts and failures and to draw on, lean on, nestle in God and his strength every single day, as we are part of God’s great plan of bringing people to himself.
** In case you're wondering, this blog is a shorter version of a talk I gave recently.
Moses II
In ‘Failure and Disappointment: Moses I’ we looked at how much of a failure Moses’ early life was. But things turned around when God called him.
So far, Moses life has been a failure and a disappointment, BUT GOD…
But God… came to him
It’s an odd way to get someone’s attention, set a bush on fire, but it seemed to work. God was about to confront Moses.
Here’s something interesting: In verse 3:4 God’s first words to him are: “Moses, Moses”.
And after telling him to take his shoes off, he says, “I am the God of your fathers.”
God is polite! And he is personal! Starting the conversation like that would have showed Moses a few things straight away. God was present, he was concerned, he was interested in Moses as a person. And he was about to talk to him.
But God… listened to him
God starts the conversation by setting out the problem – he has seen the misery and the evil inflicted on the Israelites. He’s going to do something about it and set them up well. He’s going to get Moses to go and do it. Good. Done and dusted, right?
Hang on, there’s a small problem! Moses isn’t really keen. After all, he tried to do this before, and it all ended in calamity. It’s not really a very good idea from Moses’ point of view and he starts to tell God why he can’t do it.
What are Moses’ reasons for not going? They are the same reasons we give all the time for not doing things. And when we say them, they sound perfectly reasonable.
"I can’t do it"
"I don’t know enough"
"They won’t take me seriously"
"I’m not suited to the task"
"I just don’t want to!"
All of Moses reasons come from his beliefs about himself. Where did his beliefs come from? They were birthed out of his disappointments and failures. He took the experiences of failure he had had, translated them into beliefs and used them to limit himself.
What I really like about this exchange is the fact that God listened to the reasons Moses gave. Even at the end, when Moses was just clearly wimping out, and God got mad, he didn’t zap him dead and move on to someone else. He still was willing to talk.
So far we’ve seen
But God… came to Moses
But God… listened to him
What comes next is another ‘but God’. This time, it is: But God… offered a solution
Check out my next entry for the end of the story.
So far, Moses life has been a failure and a disappointment, BUT GOD…
But God… came to him
It’s an odd way to get someone’s attention, set a bush on fire, but it seemed to work. God was about to confront Moses.
Here’s something interesting: In verse 3:4 God’s first words to him are: “Moses, Moses”.
And after telling him to take his shoes off, he says, “I am the God of your fathers.”
God is polite! And he is personal! Starting the conversation like that would have showed Moses a few things straight away. God was present, he was concerned, he was interested in Moses as a person. And he was about to talk to him.
But God… listened to him
God starts the conversation by setting out the problem – he has seen the misery and the evil inflicted on the Israelites. He’s going to do something about it and set them up well. He’s going to get Moses to go and do it. Good. Done and dusted, right?
Hang on, there’s a small problem! Moses isn’t really keen. After all, he tried to do this before, and it all ended in calamity. It’s not really a very good idea from Moses’ point of view and he starts to tell God why he can’t do it.
What are Moses’ reasons for not going? They are the same reasons we give all the time for not doing things. And when we say them, they sound perfectly reasonable.
"I can’t do it"
"I don’t know enough"
"They won’t take me seriously"
"I’m not suited to the task"
"I just don’t want to!"
All of Moses reasons come from his beliefs about himself. Where did his beliefs come from? They were birthed out of his disappointments and failures. He took the experiences of failure he had had, translated them into beliefs and used them to limit himself.
What I really like about this exchange is the fact that God listened to the reasons Moses gave. Even at the end, when Moses was just clearly wimping out, and God got mad, he didn’t zap him dead and move on to someone else. He still was willing to talk.
So far we’ve seen
But God… came to Moses
But God… listened to him
What comes next is another ‘but God’. This time, it is: But God… offered a solution
Check out my next entry for the end of the story.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
