I think about death almost every day. Not in a gruesome way, but in a "what would I do if...?" sort of way.
For example, husband might be ten minutes late. My mind goes straight into "It would be bad if he had a car accident. I hope he's ok. What if he died? How would they tell me? What would I say? Where would I live? What would we play at the funeral? How will I get on with the children on my own. I don't think I'd marry again..."
Or I hear a story about a child dying and think, "That would be awful. How would I cope? Would I have another baby? How would I tell the other kids? etc etc"
Or I feel slightly ill in the stomach and think, "Heavens - what if I have stomach cancer and I have a long prolonged drawn out death. How would I say goodbye to everyone? I'd have to write down instructions for husband about the children and make sure they were ok..."
As a child I frequently worried about mum and dad dying. It was good I knew that I'd be living with my aunty and uncle, although I was a little concerned that they'd have too many people to look after with three extra children and two of their own...
The good part about this habit is that I have made sure I have enough life insurance and super to survive should anything happen to my husband. The bad part about it is I think I am slightly hypochondriacal. Also, my husband rarely takes me seriously if I am concerned about an ongoing health problem.
"Oh, you just think you're going to die... don't worry about it!" (He says it in a nice way though.)
Is this a normal thing? Or am I the queen of panicky hypochondria?
PS. I do feel ill today. Woke with a throbbing headache. Read on the internet that waking up with a headache can be a sign of brain tumour.... here we go again.
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5 comments:
a) Although countless amounts of people would be devestated with your passing, then you'd get to go and be with Jesus quicker....(Refer to Andrew's sermon last week!)
b) Don't believe everything you read on the internet...Headache could mean that you haven't drank enough water...or heaps of other things..
a)Nice of you to say. Didn't hear the sermon but I can guess.
b) Yes I know. It's just brain tumours are so much more interesting than dehydration.
Hope the headache's gone!
I don't think about death like that unless hubby is really late home (with similar jumping to conclusions as you), but I am probably a bit hypochondriac-y. I blame it on Mum - any illness appears, she's diagnosed it from the Reader's Digest Medical Dictionary faster than you can sneeze!
I think having children and close relationships makes you a little more clingy to life and worried about death. When you're young, single and carefree you don't worry as much as when you have near and dear people who mean a lot to you, and are somewhat dependent upon you!
(from the girl who regularly worries about freckles/melanoma)
No, I think my worrying has stayed the same as when I was *ahem*
'carefree' and single. I don't know that I've ever really been carefree. I now have more reasons to keep living though.
Funny thing - I've never worried about melanoma. You shouldn't have mentioned it because now I'll start. I'm more concerned about the wrinkles and age spots than dying of skin cancer.
But I did today have a little thought that a mild rash on James' legs could be (of course) meningitis...
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