Friday, October 26, 2007

Stress

I've been very very anxious this week. Tight jaw, headaches, losing and forgetting things and my nervous tic, the twitchy lip.

The problem is that I'm worried that I'll never have enough time or energy to write the books I want to write (and every month I have a new idea for one). I'll never have time to study to be an RDI consultant and work with autistic children. I want to be fit and healthy, but I haven't made it to a pilates class yet this year. Perhaps I should have more children, but I don't have enough time. I have heaps of ideas for sewing and making quilts, but I don't have enough time. I really want to finish knitting my scarf and cool beanie, but I don't have enough time.

Of course I understand that if I keep worrying about what I haven't done yet, I'll die of stress disease early, which would be an ironic proposition.

It seemed easier when I was younger. There was more life stretching out ahead of me, but I'm nearly halfway through now and I've hardly done any of it yet.

What's the answer here? Get used to the idea that I just won't be able to achieve everything I want to? How can I live with that? I need some help.

6 comments:

Prue said...

Learn to sleep faster. ;)

Megan said...

I suffer from the same kind of worries. I've recently been teliing myself to do 2 things:
1. Do what I can now towards my goals, or decide when in the future I will start (so I've decided to informally start my doctorate next year by researching a topic but enrol the following the year)
2. Trust in God that he will enable me to use all the talents and gifts he has given me in his time.....thats the hard one!

Prue said...

Hey Cecily, the links to your friends' blogs don't work - according to the error you've got two lots of "http://"s at the start of the addresses...

Cecily said...

Thanks Prue - all fixed now. Hey, I'll have to take your advice and sleep faster...

overthere said...

Same thoughts (lactation consultant, though, instead of RDI). I think it's part of small child motherhood. I just keep telling myself this stage is not forever. That's what all the experienced (older) mothers say. Some days I buy it, some days I don't!

Oh, are you writing all your book ideas down so you can access them when you do have time but have forgotten your ideas.

Cecily said...

Don't worry - I have a "Book" in which I put down every idea I ever have, not just limited to writing projects. It'll make an interesting read someday.