Here are some of the more recent influences on my life and thinking. (General disclaimer: Of course, the Bible and my family have been and continue to be big influences.)
The RDI (Relationship Development Intervention) program that we do with our autistic son has changed my whole outlook on parenting and my children.
Arch Hart's books on depression and his Adrenaline and Stress continue to be helpful in understanding why I get grumpy on days off.
Cloud and Townsend's How People Grow is still an enormously helpful book to re-read about spiritual, emotional and personal growth. It keeps me connected to people and being honest.
John Holt's books have been huge in my thinking about education, school and children. Also Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting and his thinking on rewards and punishments. Supplementing these are Joyce Fetteroll's and Sandra Dodd's websites about living with children.
Looking at these, I can see that most of them have to do with children, at least on the outside. However, they have had a great impact on my whole life and attitude as well. The thing I have learned most this year is that I am always learning and everything is connected.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
The Suncatchers
I sent this story off today to an agent. Most of my day has been spent chasing publishers, agents and other book-type people. I'm learning to deal with rejection and get over my nerves about making phone calls. By the way, if you steal my story and get it published, expect me to sue you for the profits!
In the summer, Annie and Andrew’s favourite game was shadow jumping. They played for hours until their shadows were long in the afternoon. When the sun went down, they had to come inside for dinner.
One night, Annie and Andrew’s shadows decided to go to a secret shadow party. Trying not to giggle too much, they sneaked quietly out of the house and ran down to the back of the garden while Annie and Andrew were asleep.
The party was very exciting for the little shadows. They ate fairy bread and drank fizzy orange drinks all night. When the time came for playing hide-and-seek, the shadows scampered around the garden to find extra-special hiding places. But their hiding places were a bit too special...
Annie woke up the next morning with a sun-ray on her face. “Wake up Andrew,” she sang, “Let’s play!” They hopped out of bed, but right away Andrew gasped, “Look! We don’t have our shadows.” It was true. No matter how they twisted and turned, no little shadows appeared. They were lost.
The place to go was the library, said Annie. There was sure to be a book about how to find lost shadows. They coughed a little bit from the dust when the librarian brought them the biggest, oldest book they had ever seen. “Will it have the answer?” breathed Andrew, and yes, it did…
Soon Annie and Andrew were running in the dazzling sunshine up Porky’s Hill to the Big Tree. Andrew climbed to the highest point and held up his empty jam jar at just the right angle. “That’s it!” cried Annie, as Andrew caught the sunshine and quickly put the lid on the jar.
Andrew kept the jar carefully covered by his shirt until they reached the dark jungle at the back of their garden. “This must be where our lost shadows are,” said Annie looking a little fearfully at the snaky vines and dark fern tentacles around them.
Suddenly, Andrew thought he recognised their shadows. “There they are!” he yelled. “Quick,” said Annie. Andrew took the lid off the jam jar to let out the sun rays. In a second, the dark jungle was transformed into a shimmering paradise.
The sunlight from the jar only lasted for a few seconds, but Annie and Andrew’s shadows recognised the children immediately. They hopped on their backs and held on tight while Annie and Andrew raced out into the sunlight. They all celebrated with a game of shadow-jumping.
In the summer, Annie and Andrew’s favourite game was shadow jumping. They played for hours until their shadows were long in the afternoon. When the sun went down, they had to come inside for dinner.
One night, Annie and Andrew’s shadows decided to go to a secret shadow party. Trying not to giggle too much, they sneaked quietly out of the house and ran down to the back of the garden while Annie and Andrew were asleep.
The party was very exciting for the little shadows. They ate fairy bread and drank fizzy orange drinks all night. When the time came for playing hide-and-seek, the shadows scampered around the garden to find extra-special hiding places. But their hiding places were a bit too special...
Annie woke up the next morning with a sun-ray on her face. “Wake up Andrew,” she sang, “Let’s play!” They hopped out of bed, but right away Andrew gasped, “Look! We don’t have our shadows.” It was true. No matter how they twisted and turned, no little shadows appeared. They were lost.
The place to go was the library, said Annie. There was sure to be a book about how to find lost shadows. They coughed a little bit from the dust when the librarian brought them the biggest, oldest book they had ever seen. “Will it have the answer?” breathed Andrew, and yes, it did…
Soon Annie and Andrew were running in the dazzling sunshine up Porky’s Hill to the Big Tree. Andrew climbed to the highest point and held up his empty jam jar at just the right angle. “That’s it!” cried Annie, as Andrew caught the sunshine and quickly put the lid on the jar.
Andrew kept the jar carefully covered by his shirt until they reached the dark jungle at the back of their garden. “This must be where our lost shadows are,” said Annie looking a little fearfully at the snaky vines and dark fern tentacles around them.
Suddenly, Andrew thought he recognised their shadows. “There they are!” he yelled. “Quick,” said Annie. Andrew took the lid off the jam jar to let out the sun rays. In a second, the dark jungle was transformed into a shimmering paradise.
The sunlight from the jar only lasted for a few seconds, but Annie and Andrew’s shadows recognised the children immediately. They hopped on their backs and held on tight while Annie and Andrew raced out into the sunlight. They all celebrated with a game of shadow-jumping.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Try this at home
How's this for a stress reducer?
When you become aware of an unpleasant emotion or tension creeping into your body or mind, ask yourself these three questions:
1. Could I let it go? (ie. am I capable of letting it go?)
2. Would I let it go?
3. When?
It's had a remarkable impact on my stress levels in only two days of doing it.
When you become aware of an unpleasant emotion or tension creeping into your body or mind, ask yourself these three questions:
1. Could I let it go? (ie. am I capable of letting it go?)
2. Would I let it go?
3. When?
It's had a remarkable impact on my stress levels in only two days of doing it.
Children's books
Our church had a creative arts display on the weekend. My entries were two illustrated children's books which I 'published' for the occasion. I have tried in the past to find someone to take them on, but had no success. The children's publishing world is a tough bubble to burst.
Having received great feedback from people who saw the copies, however, I'm seriously investigating self-publishing. The president of Mothers Union goes to our church and said she knows MU shops would sell them.
It's my intention to spend much of next year getting out and speaking and trying to sell my friendship book too... if I set up a website and have three books to sell, it might not be impossible.
What do you think?
Having received great feedback from people who saw the copies, however, I'm seriously investigating self-publishing. The president of Mothers Union goes to our church and said she knows MU shops would sell them.
It's my intention to spend much of next year getting out and speaking and trying to sell my friendship book too... if I set up a website and have three books to sell, it might not be impossible.
What do you think?
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Hierarchy and communication
We watched through to the final episode of Edwardian House yesterday. It was not only beautifully filmed and edited, but it was also eye-opening to see just how much society has changed in 100 years.
Not unexpectedly, the 'servants' were pretty happy to go home. They were tired after working harder and longer than they had ever done in their lives. But the 'Lord and Lady' of the house cried real tears.
"I'm born to this," said Lady Olliffe-Cooper. Sir John said, "Democracy can be taken too far. Edwardian times worked."
The family left the house first, and, somewhat ironically gave the servants all warm hugs and handshakes in turn. The servants were not won over.
"They don't know us," said one of the housemaids. We know everything about them, but they know nothing about us."
In fact, Sir John went 'downstairs' for the first time on the last night of his three month stay. He never addressed the lower servants directly, and he punished them at various points for slight misdeeds.
Life was definitely a lot better on the top of the pile. Those at the bottom suffered, but they couldn't say how they really felt. The opinions of the people in power were the only ones that mattered.
The Butler's final assessment of the upstairs/downstairs split was this:
"There's no doubt about it. A strict hierarchy does work. But it is at the cost of communication. And when a society cannot tell the truth, it is a sick society."
Not unexpectedly, the 'servants' were pretty happy to go home. They were tired after working harder and longer than they had ever done in their lives. But the 'Lord and Lady' of the house cried real tears.
"I'm born to this," said Lady Olliffe-Cooper. Sir John said, "Democracy can be taken too far. Edwardian times worked."
The family left the house first, and, somewhat ironically gave the servants all warm hugs and handshakes in turn. The servants were not won over.
"They don't know us," said one of the housemaids. We know everything about them, but they know nothing about us."
In fact, Sir John went 'downstairs' for the first time on the last night of his three month stay. He never addressed the lower servants directly, and he punished them at various points for slight misdeeds.
Life was definitely a lot better on the top of the pile. Those at the bottom suffered, but they couldn't say how they really felt. The opinions of the people in power were the only ones that mattered.
The Butler's final assessment of the upstairs/downstairs split was this:
"There's no doubt about it. A strict hierarchy does work. But it is at the cost of communication. And when a society cannot tell the truth, it is a sick society."
Friday, November 14, 2008
What personality is my blog?
I did that 'typeanalyze' thing that Megan discovered and entered my blog. Here are the results:
The analysis indicates that the author of http://www.loveasunnyday.blogspot.com is of the type:
ESFP - The Performers
The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves. The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.
Funny, but I've always tested to be an E/INFJ. Perhaps I have a 'blog persona' that I put on when I write? Or perhaps it's just flawed...
The analysis indicates that the author of http://www.loveasunnyday.blogspot.com is of the type:
ESFP - The Performers
The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves. The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.
Funny, but I've always tested to be an E/INFJ. Perhaps I have a 'blog persona' that I put on when I write? Or perhaps it's just flawed...
Trivial bits and pieces
1. My friend bought me a donut machine. They make great tasting little gluten free treats. Hopefully I'll be able to sneak some vegies or supplements into the batter without anyone seeing.
2. I'm 35 and I still bite my nails.
3. Dreams. Lately I've been having night-long sagas with quite good stories, and lots of emotional range. Interesting.
4. Bought a book for my mother in law's birthday, but I'm too tempted to read it myself in the non-creased page way before I give it to her. It's called the 19th wife - about polygamy in Utah. I'm so interested in that stuff.
5. Can't stop eating cake.
6. This year is the year of wearing summer skirts rather than cropped pants. Felt like a change.
7. I'm going to really really miss my little girl next year. We've decided it's probably best for her brother (and therefore for us all) if she goes back to school and we focus on his therapy. But I feel so so disappointed about it.
8. I'm daydreaming about getting a huge book contract from Zondervan in the US, selling up, buying an RV for a year and travelling the States promoting it and speaking.
9. The other daydream is moving to the bush, building my own house, getting a horse and working the vegie patch. I like the idea - just not the work involved!
10. Great Bible study on the Body of Christ and how people are necessary for growth. I love that God 'wears us as his clothes' as he dispenses grace.
2. I'm 35 and I still bite my nails.
3. Dreams. Lately I've been having night-long sagas with quite good stories, and lots of emotional range. Interesting.
4. Bought a book for my mother in law's birthday, but I'm too tempted to read it myself in the non-creased page way before I give it to her. It's called the 19th wife - about polygamy in Utah. I'm so interested in that stuff.
5. Can't stop eating cake.
6. This year is the year of wearing summer skirts rather than cropped pants. Felt like a change.
7. I'm going to really really miss my little girl next year. We've decided it's probably best for her brother (and therefore for us all) if she goes back to school and we focus on his therapy. But I feel so so disappointed about it.
8. I'm daydreaming about getting a huge book contract from Zondervan in the US, selling up, buying an RV for a year and travelling the States promoting it and speaking.
9. The other daydream is moving to the bush, building my own house, getting a horse and working the vegie patch. I like the idea - just not the work involved!
10. Great Bible study on the Body of Christ and how people are necessary for growth. I love that God 'wears us as his clothes' as he dispenses grace.
The Suncatchers
Here's an illustration for a children's story I wrote about 8 years ago. At the time, I didn't realise just how hard it is to get yourself onto a publisher's list and blithely collaborated with an artistic friend from high school who put hours and hours into the pictures, for no result.
The story, originally in prose, was rejected by several different publishers. I've rewritten it in verse this year and I'm going to try again.
It's about two children whose shadows go out one night for a party. They get lost and can't find their way home so the children have to look for them. They catch some sunlight in a jar and let it out in the darkest part of the garden, and of course, the little shadows are there, sad and sorry. Everyone is happy to be reunited, and the shadows stay in bed from now on.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Power and the lack of it
My daughter and I are watching the series Edwardian House, where 19 modern day people are 'sent' back in time to live and work as a household would have done in 1906.
Life is, of course, bad for the servants. I don't think anyone expected otherwise. What may have turned out to be surprising for some, however, was the difficult time one of the 'upstairs' family had. The lady of the house's maiden sister came to live with the family, but left after several weeks suffering depression and ill health.
It wasn't because of the luxury. She had every perk that a rich woman could have had living in her position. It was because of the lack of freedom that she had as a person.
Because her status was low as an unmarried woman, and because she was dependent on her brother in law for her food, clothes and shelter, she was unable to express her own opinions, choose her own activities, see her own friends, or entertain her own company. The formalities of Edwardian life made it impossible for her to get out and see more of life.
I wasn't surprised. I know how women fare in positions where they have no freedom and no power. In fact, it's not just women. If any person has to live in a position of dependence and powerlessness, it is damaging to health, physical, emotional and mental.
If there's one thing I value, it is my freedom to express my opinions and follow my own interests and passions. I'm so sad for the millions of women and children (and men too, but to a lesser extent) whose lives are so constrained by men in power.
Life is, of course, bad for the servants. I don't think anyone expected otherwise. What may have turned out to be surprising for some, however, was the difficult time one of the 'upstairs' family had. The lady of the house's maiden sister came to live with the family, but left after several weeks suffering depression and ill health.
It wasn't because of the luxury. She had every perk that a rich woman could have had living in her position. It was because of the lack of freedom that she had as a person.
Because her status was low as an unmarried woman, and because she was dependent on her brother in law for her food, clothes and shelter, she was unable to express her own opinions, choose her own activities, see her own friends, or entertain her own company. The formalities of Edwardian life made it impossible for her to get out and see more of life.
I wasn't surprised. I know how women fare in positions where they have no freedom and no power. In fact, it's not just women. If any person has to live in a position of dependence and powerlessness, it is damaging to health, physical, emotional and mental.
If there's one thing I value, it is my freedom to express my opinions and follow my own interests and passions. I'm so sad for the millions of women and children (and men too, but to a lesser extent) whose lives are so constrained by men in power.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Triangulation
Triangulation is something we all do frequently, and I don't want to do it any more. To understand it, imagine a triangle with three points, A, B and C.
Person A wants to establish a relationship with person B. The easiest and quickest way to do this is to insult or insinuate person C, whom they both know. A and B find that their immediate link is through their dislike of person C. It doesn't just stop there, though. It's equally easy for B to find a connection with C by dissing A, and so the triangle goes on.
If we think about it, we do this ALL the time. It's so easy to put down others, without even thinking about it. I am trying to make myself aware of when I do it, and find other ways to connect with people.
Person A wants to establish a relationship with person B. The easiest and quickest way to do this is to insult or insinuate person C, whom they both know. A and B find that their immediate link is through their dislike of person C. It doesn't just stop there, though. It's equally easy for B to find a connection with C by dissing A, and so the triangle goes on.
If we think about it, we do this ALL the time. It's so easy to put down others, without even thinking about it. I am trying to make myself aware of when I do it, and find other ways to connect with people.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Birthday
Today we held a beautiful little birthday party for my nearly three year old. It was calm, happy and delightful.
The children played in the cubby house, with the dress ups and on the bikes. They ate, drank, played duck duck goose and then we cut the cake.
Do you like it? My daughter and I made and decorated it. The name down the side was just to use up the rest of the icing!
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