Like mother, like son

Yesterday my little son Bright Eyes looked around himself with satisfaction and said, "I love sunny days!"

Being angry

We were discussing anger tonight in Bible study, following the reading of Matthew 5:21-26. Here are some thoughts that came up, in no particular order:

Anger is frequently described in the Bible with the imagery of fire and burning. With the devastation of the Victorian bushfires recently, it's worth thinking about the collateral damage that unrestrained anger can cause, and also that fire can be fueled, or damped down.

The words 'slow' and 'anger' also go together in the Bible - most frequently talking about God and the speed at which he gets angry (ie. slowly).

We wondered if much of the anger that we express towards our children comes from us being inconvenienced. And is inconvenience a good enough reason for anger? God gets angry at injustice and rebellion.

We asked God to help us understand the source of our various angers this week. Facing our anger and its reasons will probably help us understand what is real anger, and what is hurt, bitterness or disappointment masquerading as anger.

Make that three

Another rejection.

One more option left.

We're just not that into you.

I've had two rejections from publishers for my 'friendship' book in one week. Which is kind of deflating. I have two more irons in the fire at the moment, and then I'm going to have to look at self-publishing and promotion.

Woe.

Mascara

As I sat in a waiting room today, reading through a fashion/gossip magazine, I came across this letter to the editor.

Thanks sooo much for your article on mascara. I've been looking for the perfect mascara my whole life, and now I have 50 top picks to try before I die. Thank you!!

Is this woman for real?

Dog partay!

I had the most fun I've had for years yesterday at the party for our dog's eighth birthday. Yes, I know, it sounds completely ridiculous, but it was hilarious and joyous and fantastic.

It was all Jemima's idea, and seeing as my new principle is to 'say yes as often as possible', we decided to go ahead with it. She wrote invitations to four of the neighbourhood dogs and their families, set up the backyard, made phone calls and iced the (bone-shaped) cake.

The dogs arrived, and the children spent 10 minutes or so taking them over a jump/obstacle course. There were no fights, but we did have to keep the biggest, boisterous one away from the others, and some of them showed a little bit too much affection for each other... (both desexed males... what is going on?)

We then played 'duck duck dog' before cutting cake (for humans) and opening presents. The dogs got treats too - probably too many for the little one who was on a diet.

The children loved it, but I think we adults had more fun. We all just stood there and laughed for a full half-hour. Perhaps joy comes from such child-like things as throwing a dog party?

Natural learning and unschooling

I wanted to write something myself about the unschooling philosophy that I'm following with our children, but it seemed like a big effort. Lots of other people have written about it, so rather than reinvent the wheel, I was going to excerpt bits of other people's articles with links below. However, for some annoying reason, I can't paste into blogger at the moment, so I'll just leave links and titles!

What is unschooling? Is it 'non-schooling? Aren't you just abandoning, or worse, abusing your children? Read here

How do unschooling parents know their children are learning without tests, quizzes, exams or grades? Read here.

Common objections to unschooling, including the big 'S' - the socialisation question. Read here

Is schooling really learning, or is there a difference? Read here

I laughed at this

Jemima's art teacher told the class an apparently true story about her sister in law's friend (or someone) who owned a python as a pet. She allowed it out of its cage to roam freely around the house for short or long periods.

She began to notice after a while that it had not been eating much, and she was a little worried about it. Then one day, with it out of its cage, she took a nap and woke up to find the python stretched out to its full length next to her in the bed.

Quite concerned, she took it to the vet only to be told that the python had not eaten because it was saving itself up for a big meal. And the reason it was lying next to her was because it was measuring her to see if she was the right size to be the next big meal.

The python is no longer a pet!

25 words that describe me

Jubilee Man has asked me to do 25 words (of any type) describing myself. So here goes.

1. Lumpy
2. Freckly
3. RSI
4. Reader
5. Writer
6. Obsessive
7. Strong-minded
8. Paralysed
9. Insecure
10. Phobic
11. Motivated
12. Panicky
13. Competent
14. Impatient
15. Funny
16. Honest
17. Earplugs
18. Family
19. Fashion
20. Messy
21. Impulsive
22. Inactive
23. Ambitious
24. Dreams
25. Moderate

If you've read this, take the challenge.

Resisting the temptation to be moral

My husband gets this great journal entitled Journal of spiritual formation and soul care. I thought this article by John Coe in Volume 1, Issue 1 was worth quoting in some length. It may be helpful in my journey towards joy.

"I want to address a peculiar temptation, one especially relevant and think universal to those who are dedicated to the Christian life and to ministry. It is what I call the moral temptation.

The moral temptation is the attempt to deal with our spiritual failure, guilt and shame by means of spiritual efforts, by attempting to perfect one's self in the power of the self.

It is the attempt of the well-intentioned believer to use spiritual formation, spiritual disciplines, ministry, service, obedience - being good in general- as a way to relieve the burden of spiritual failure, lack of love and the guilt and shame that results.

It is the temptation to try to relieve a burden that Christ alone can relieve....

My thesis or concern... for those believers who want to give themselves to a life of growth and ministry but are struggling with their faith, is two-fold:

1. That no amount of spiritual effort on their part can ever relieve them of their burden of shame and guilt in the Christian life except Christ. No amount of effort or doing of spiritual disciplines can grow them or fix them.

2. That in fact, the Christian life is not fundamentally about being moral in itself or about being a good Christian boy or girl. It is not fundamentally about obedience to a set of principles or doing spiritual disciplines... It is not even about character formation or imitation of Christ as a model.

... As we grow older in faith, we discover that the Christian life is more about Christ and less about our efforts. It is about what he has done, and about our life "in Christ" and how to open the heart to this New Covenant life dependent on the Spirit.

Questions or answers?

Usually I run my Bible study pretty conventionally. We sit around and read the passage. I ask pertinent questions and we have a discussion around each one.

This week, however, I decided to do something a little different. Instead of looking for answers, I was looking for questions. There was no discussion or answers allowed - only questions. I was the scribe while everyone in the group thought about the questions they could ask about the passage and its application.

The end result was more than 7ft of questions on a roll of continuous paper. It was more than I expected. The group felt perhaps a little more exhausted than usual, but they did feel that they had gotten a lot out of the exercise and had really examined the passage.

Beat the heat

I grew up in Karachi, Pakistan, where the temperature is over 35C for most of the year. Days were hot, and on the many nights when the electricity failed, getting to sleep was hard. I developed the ability to sleep straight on the cool tiled floors of our house. No mattress or sheets - just a pillow.

Last night was so hot here and my legs felt so 'burning' that I was tossing and turning for ages until I suddenly realised that there was indeed a cooler place. I headed to the bathroom with my pillow and slept on the tiled floor. And that's where I'm going right now!

Jamesie boy

Our littlest is growing up. Here he is at 'Dad's Salon' which was set up one day to help encourage our 9 yo to experience hair washing as a positive thing. Jamesie wanted a turn too.

Patience down... what's next?

Long-time readers of this blog may remember my many ponderings about patience of a few years back. I wanted to know what it was, how you got it and what it looked like.

One autistic child later, I think I'm ok with patience now. So I'm moving on. Currently I'm bothered about joy. I'm not sure I have much. I'd like to be one of those gorgeous people who exude joy (and not just put-on positive thinking) even when they are sad.

Any thoughts? I think I'll start exploring this topic.

A slow death averted

This blog is sadly languishing.

One reason is my mild but chronic RSI.

The other reason is probably that I want to write serious things about education and unschooling, but I would have to spend a lot of time formulating exactly what I want to say and why, so I'm putting it off.

In the meantime, all my posts feel fairly inane and uninspiring.

Sorry Kristen, I can't do your book meme. The thought of getting out 10 books and then having to put them all away again gives me the horrors when all I seem to do all day is clean up and put other people's mess away.

As a peace-offering, let me tell you what I am currently reading.

Generation to Generation by Edwin Friedman.
All about family systems theory. It's a way of counselling where a counsellor does not look so much at the presenting 'patient' or even addresses the 'issues' at the forefront, but looks at how the person is situated in the whole of the family system. For example, a child who is acting out can become settled by the counsellor having the parents work on their own relationship. Or a mother who has depression may be helped by her own mother improving her relationship with her sister. The idea is that all our relationships are interconnected generationally. "Man is not an island" was never explained so well.

Teach your own - The John Holt book of Homeschooling by John Holt and Patrick Farenga.
John Holt is the 'father' of the unschooling movement in America. He died in 1985, but his books still sell many copies. From the back of the book I quote: "Rather than proposing that parents turn their homes into miniature schools, Holt and Farenga demonstrate how ordinary parents can help children grow as social, active learners... John Holt's warm understanding of children and his passionate belief in every child's ability to learn have made this book the bible of homeschooling families everywhere."

A Poisoned Season by someone or other
A mildly amusing novel featuring a dreadfully modern heroine smack bang in the middle of London's upper crust in the olden days. She's a scholar, a rich widow and of course, stunning to look at. Her main occupation seems to be reading Homer, fending off witty suitors, dodging scandal and solving murders. I wouldn't bother with it except that it has become annoyingly compelling.

The last chapter of John.
I never realised that when Jesus appeared to the disciples when they were fishing there were only six of them present. It's very cool that he made them breakfast. I think that shows a great deal of thoughtfulness and an ability to meet the right needs, whatever they are. I wonder why the disciples counted the fish that they caught? I would have thought they'd be so busy talking to Jesus that the mundane details of fishing would have gone by the wayside. Would they have sold them on? What did they do with the 153 big fish that they caught?
I like how Jesus basically tells Peter to mind his own beeswax at the end, when they are talking about how John is going to meet his death. We all need to do this a great deal more than we do. Why can't we just concentrate on our own walk with the Lord instead of having to fix or judge or be annoyed by everyone else's? Just be faithful and don't worry about them.