Absent

Some things have taken a back seat in the last few weeks.

1. Cooking interesting meals.
2. Washing.
3. Blog.

My energies have been directed elsewhere, specifically: sorting out cupboards; organising an enormous garage sale (eight neighbourhood families and their stuff); sorting out furniture needs for the new place; saying initial goodbyes to friends here.

You may be interested to know that if you are trying to buy a lounge on ebay, it would serve you well to live in Melbourne. They seriously have the best furniture!

I doubt I'll emerge fully from this hibernation before June. We move on 18 May and then take some holidays. After that, there will be big changes for us. Two children will be at school (yes, I finally admit defeat) and one at preschool three days down in the new place, so I will have free days.

Hopefully, see you after that!

Yep, it's half a hairdo

This is my extremely attractive husband with half a head of hair.

He did Shave for a Cure this week, but over two nights for two different youth groups.

I believe they raised about $500 or so, so this sight was worth something to someone, obviously!

Now he's minus the rest of the fluff and looks like a cross between a soccer ball and a thug.

I wonder if there are foods which help hair to grow back quicker!

Mascara

As I sat in a waiting room today, reading through a fashion/gossip magazine, I came across this letter to the editor.

Thanks sooo much for your article on mascara. I've been looking for the perfect mascara my whole life, and now I have 50 top picks to try before I die. Thank you!!

Is this woman for real?

I laughed at this

Jemima's art teacher told the class an apparently true story about her sister in law's friend (or someone) who owned a python as a pet. She allowed it out of its cage to roam freely around the house for short or long periods.

She began to notice after a while that it had not been eating much, and she was a little worried about it. Then one day, with it out of its cage, she took a nap and woke up to find the python stretched out to its full length next to her in the bed.

Quite concerned, she took it to the vet only to be told that the python had not eaten because it was saving itself up for a big meal. And the reason it was lying next to her was because it was measuring her to see if she was the right size to be the next big meal.

The python is no longer a pet!

Beat the heat

I grew up in Karachi, Pakistan, where the temperature is over 35C for most of the year. Days were hot, and on the many nights when the electricity failed, getting to sleep was hard. I developed the ability to sleep straight on the cool tiled floors of our house. No mattress or sheets - just a pillow.

Last night was so hot here and my legs felt so 'burning' that I was tossing and turning for ages until I suddenly realised that there was indeed a cooler place. I headed to the bathroom with my pillow and slept on the tiled floor. And that's where I'm going right now!

Morbid wonderings

I was watching Stranger than Fiction the other day in which the main character has a conversation with his friend about what he would do if he knew he only a little more time to live. The character (a boring, staid tax official) said he had always wanted to play the guitar, so he went and bought one and started to play.

It got me thinking about what I would do, so here's my list. The scenario is that I have one year to live. I am not sick or fighting a disease and I don't have unlimited funds.

I would
- first of all, triple my life insurance so my husband and the kids can pay off the unit once I die.
- write my memoirs.
- spend more time talking to my husband.
- spend more time playing with the children.
- make sure every relationship I have is in a good and loving state.
- make a quilt for each of the children.
- get outside and look at the night sky more.
- dance a lot.
- read the Bible a lot and prepare to meet my maker.

(I thought about travel, but there are better places coming in heaven. The same goes for hobbies or experiences, although on further reflection, perhaps I might do some horseback riding. It became clear that the things I find important are relationships with people and God.)

Then it struck me that perhaps these are the things I need to do this year and every year. After all, who knows?

Anyone want to play? What would you do with a year to live?

Missing Nanna

Coming up to Christmas I am thinking about my nanna who died nearly two years ago. I miss going shopping with her. She always had heaps more energy than me, had to look at everything and then paid for lunch!

Here's a little excerpt from a letter written to my pop from a friend after she died. It's an example of the sort of ministry she had, and which I aim to follow.

"I didn't grow up in a Christian family and I think that's one of the reasons Mary specially cared for me she truly was a mother in Christ to me. Every conversation I had with it was a special encouragement and blessing from our Lord. She was always completely interested in me. She always had a smile and an encouraging word, no matter what was going on in her life... Her opinion, her encouragement was so important to me, because I know she knew and loved me and because I knew that she would only say the truth for the glory of God... She made me feel special. She made me feel loved. She pointed me to Christ."

Fudge

Ain't this the truth. I've put on a good number of kilos recently.

Especially troublesome have been the little packets of homemade fudge I have been storing in the fridge to give as presents to our local friends.

I can't help eating way more of this stuff than I know is good for me, but it is like velvet for my tastebuds.

Also, tragically, it is extremely easy and quick to make.

If you're interested in the recipe I'll post it soon.

Really annoying

It occurred to me that for 25 years I have had the same annoyance every single day.

I have very slopy shoulders. It means that things fall off them. So every day, I get annoyed by straps sliding off my shoulders and halfway down my arms.

Is there a solution to this?

Good things

Today I gave my standard 'friendship' talk to a lovely group of ladies up in Beverly Hills. Two cool things: 1) I spoke without notes and 2) without even trying I sold all seven copies of Never Alone that I took with me. It was good fun.

Plus, I met my mum for a shopping trip afterwards. Very nice.

I also managed to buy shirts for my three year old - you know, the one who prefers dresses. He won't wear the 'boys' shirts I have in the cupboard waiting for him. So today I was clever enough to find (truly) a boys' pink toned t-shirt, and two Hawaiian shirts with flowers all over them. And yes, I think he will wear them.

Hierarchy and communication

We watched through to the final episode of Edwardian House yesterday. It was not only beautifully filmed and edited, but it was also eye-opening to see just how much society has changed in 100 years.

Not unexpectedly, the 'servants' were pretty happy to go home. They were tired after working harder and longer than they had ever done in their lives. But the 'Lord and Lady' of the house cried real tears.

"I'm born to this," said Lady Olliffe-Cooper. Sir John said, "Democracy can be taken too far. Edwardian times worked."

The family left the house first, and, somewhat ironically gave the servants all warm hugs and handshakes in turn. The servants were not won over.

"They don't know us," said one of the housemaids. We know everything about them, but they know nothing about us."

In fact, Sir John went 'downstairs' for the first time on the last night of his three month stay. He never addressed the lower servants directly, and he punished them at various points for slight misdeeds.

Life was definitely a lot better on the top of the pile. Those at the bottom suffered, but they couldn't say how they really felt. The opinions of the people in power were the only ones that mattered.

The Butler's final assessment of the upstairs/downstairs split was this:

"There's no doubt about it. A strict hierarchy does work. But it is at the cost of communication. And when a society cannot tell the truth, it is a sick society."

What to do with my life?

At the beginning of middle age, it's time to consider what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.

Here are a few of the things I'm thinking about. If anyone has any more suggestions, I'm all ears!

- Children. I'm very committed to being present with my children, and to giving them opportunities to learn and grow, gentle guidance and as much patience and love and enjoyment of our relationship as I can. So most of the time I'm going to need to spend with them, especially as the littlest is still only two. This will take up the majority of the next 16 years!

- Writing. This is definitely my 'first love' in terms of career. Writing is what I have always wanted to do, ever since I was aged 5 and engaged to James Carson (who was 3 at the time). Incidentally, we had big plans for our life together. We'd live in NZ, have two boys and two girls, all of whose names began with R, he would be a farmer and I would be a writer. As long as I can keep getting up early in the morning, I can probably do this. It will get easier once the kiddies are a little more independent. I would love to do a story set in Pakistan, but I might have to wait a few years before I can travel without leaving everyone stranded at home.

- RDI. I know a number of autistic/Aspergers' teenagers and adults. I would really love to become an RDI consultant and specialise in helping these older folk gain the relationship skills they want. The barrier to doing this is oh, around about $10,000 AUD for the course, plus two lots of airfares to Houston. Then there is the time to see clients. If somehow I managed to wangle a day per week free, it could work, but that could be hard. I'll have to pray about it.

- all the other stuff. Bible study, speaking here and there, seeing friends, keeping fit, doing some quilting, having time to spend with various others.

Any more suggestions?

Today...

~ Do something fun
~ Do something challenging
~ Try something new
~ Do something physical
~ Do something spiritual
~ Do something kind
~ Do something that satisfies
~ Have a rest and refresh
~ Ask God for help and joy


I have this printed out and posted on my kitchen cupboard door so that I'll see it and remember that life is a gift!

Ouch

It's too embarrassing to say I have a knitting injury, so the physiotherapist says I can call it an 'overuse injury'. Basically I have tennis elbow (even though I haven't picked up a tennis racket in years) and it's extremely painful.

So I'm taking a little break from my blog, as I've been told to be careful to not aggravate the tendons in my poor, sore arm. Typing, mouse movements and general computer work are all bad for it.

Anyone like to finish a child's earflap beanie for me? I can't bear to see it sit there only half-knitted over winter.

Updates

I've been...

Busy with...
two seminars and a talk last week, plus a whole lot of desktop publishing for church stuff. All fun.

Enjoying...
the new pilates class I've started. A teacher who can do it and teach it!

Thinking about...
children, respect, saying 'yes', mindful parenting, home schooling.

Wishing...
the baby would continue his lovely long nap time. Unfortunately he's giving it up!

Getting...
a haircut, thanks Sarah.

Forgetting...
to wax my legs. And it's been so hot...

Regretting...
that I only managed to eat well for a week before a block of chocolate was my undoing.

Waiting...
for a publisher to get back to me.

Winning...
can you believe it... I won a bubble jet printer from a free competition I entered.

I want a different nose and other stuff

I've got the worst hayfever and I've had it for months. I'm allergic to dustmites and I think they have taken over the house. Even washing the carpets and the curtains hasn't improved things. Help!

Big Love is on SBS again. This is a must-see drama involving a polygamous Mormon family in Utah. The dilemmas of multi-wife families is an eye-opener!

Am learning to sketch. I've always wanted to draw and been crummy at it, but now is the time. Library books and practice are helping.

Knitting barbie clothes is fun and achievable.

My youngest child is obsessed with being naked.

Discombobulated

Yesterday's post about all the thinking and changing I've been doing is all very well. It's been occupying my mind extensively for a long time.

But then I sat down to read 'Gogo Mama' a book about the lives of 12 African women by Sally Sara, the ABC Africa correspondent.

The first woman was mutilated with her lips cut off by the Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda. They also killed her daughter and murdered her husband. Her family work their fields during the day and sleep anywhere they can find to hide at night, just in case they get attacked again by the rebels. Children are at constant risk of being abducted and forced into becoming child soldiers. Men can be murdered. Woman are raped and mutilated.

The second woman, a traditional Pygmy lives with her family in the path of a live volcano in DR Congo, because she and her tribe were forced out of their traditional land in the forest. Being abjectly poor and the lowest of the low, they had no other option but to till the land no-one else wanted. The volcano has erupted twice in the last 30 years. Each time they had 15 minutes to get to safety up a hill, and watch all their possessions and their crops be crushed and sizzled by molten lava.

The other stories include a woman who survived the Rwandan genocide, one who walked her children across Sudan to a refugee camp, through starvation and terror, one who is fighting female genital mutilation and one who didn't want to get married. As she wouldn't cooperate, her family arranged for her to be abducted and raped by the prospective bridegroom.

I read this stuff and it shakes my life around. Are we all living in the same universe? Why is my biggest problem autism, where another woman's is rape, or anguish, or constant anxiety from fear of attack a baby who died of untreated dehydration?

Discombobulated apparently means shook all out of whack. That's how I feel some days.

Degrees of separation

My husband and I attended a dinner for Anglican ministers and their spouses from our immediate region last night. Out of the 20 or so people who attended, I had at least 12 personal connections with:

• One lady who had been in a bible study with my grandmother for years.
• A couple who had originally come from the same church as my other grandmother and who had known me since I was tiny.
• A man who gave my dad a job about 15 years ago and met me before I was married.
• A woman who had been on a Moore College Mission to my dad's church in Gunnedah when I was in Year 12.
• A man who was in the same year at Bible college as my father.
• A woman who knows a girl with whom I went to school in Pakistan.
• Four people (at least) who had read the book I wrote.
• A couple who know my parents quite well and who are taking over a parish where my aunt and uncle used to work.
• One woman who asked me directly if I was related to said aunt (whom she knows), without knowing that we had any connection, just from my mannerisms.
• A couple whose daughter married the son of some friends of ours from Dapto.
• A man who I worked with a little at CMS.
• A couple who went to the same church as us over three years ago.
• There was only one person who I seemed to have no direct link with... but he was the son of one of the others!

Anglican circles are small.

Noises.

Our dog snores.
And it drives me crazy.

Just like:
dripping taps
ticking clocks
people breathing
Richie Benaud's voice
fingernails on chalkboards
any noise that's small and regular and shouldn't be there

Bed

Actually, this is completely untrue. I just like an extra half hour in bed. My eyes are always completely shut, and I'm usually half way around the world in some odd but amusing dream situation.